worried about my first time and his size
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| Tue, 10-10-2006 - 2:21pm |
Hiya everyone
just wondering if people could put me at ease about a situation im currently worried about. my boyfriend and I have decided we are ready to have sex with eachother. It will both be our first time, but i am really worried about his size, and mine. he is on the large size...around 8" long and 6" around. i on the other hand am quite small down there, i really dont have all that much room to fit alot in. im just really worried as i have read some peoples messages about how their guy found it pysically impossible to fit, and im so scared that that is gonna happen. ive said this to my boyfriend and hes so understanding, saying about taking everything slow and only doing it when i feel im ready, but i just dont wanna dissapoint myself or him. i was just basically wondering if there was any tips or anything anyone cud say to reassure me! i mean, everything could be fine in the end, we shall never know until we try, but im still so nervous.

2) it really sucked for us. Dh was WAY too big and i was way too small. DH almost cried because he cuold see the pain in my eyes
3) talk to your gyn they can help. a friend of mine had her stretch 1st.
4) use lots of lub
5) did i mention get married 1st?
>> im just really worried as i have read some peoples messages about how their guy found it pysically impossible to fit, <<
First of all you have to realise that these messages about other people having problems are from OTHER people. Everyone is different and you are not them.
The secong thing is that the vast majority of problems with getting it in is caused by your muscles around your vagina and pelvis being tense and "clamping down". They get tense because you are tense and nervous. Also you need to be aroused and turned on. When you get aroused and turned on the muscles and vagina relax and lubricate and prepare themselves for intercourse. Again, if you're a bit nervous and not quite ready you won't get as turned on as you could be and the muscles won't relax as much and you probably won't get as lubricated as you could.
So how to relax and get turned on? It's really about being comfortable with your partner and really ready for intercourse. Trust is a big thing. You need to really want the intercourse because you want to have it, not because you think that you should. You need to have lots of foreplay so that you have plenty of time to get turned on. It would help to have a little bottle of lube handy and to use plenty of that if you need it. And finally, it's really all about taking your time and not trying to force it in. It's not a race. If it hurts, stop or do something else for a while and try again later. Provided you do all that, there is a good chance that things will be pain-free.
Finally, if he is quite large he may have to be a bit careful how deep he thrusts when he is finally inside you. A large penis can hit your cervix in some of the positions that provide deeper penetration and that can be unpleasant. It's unrelated to losing your virginity and can happen to anyone anytime.
(Oh and I don't know why that person said wait until marriage. That has nothing to do with this..)
Dear sbadger00: Everything will be fine. I totally agree with westridge2001. Is there a possibility of the two of you doing a lot of oral and maturbation until you are so hot you "must have him"? That would get you to state of mind that your muscles would be relaxed and your lubrication would be flowing.
That's my suggestion - foreplay until you can't stand to wait another minute for him to be in you.
Rich
Rich, good to the last drop
The first time for most couples isn't the greatest....it gets better with time and practice. You being nervous and scared will not help because that makes a woman tense up, not lubricate, and it's almost impossible. Don't worry about disappointing him, either. If it doesn't work, he sounds very understanding, and he won't be disappointed.
The trick is LOTS of foreplay, oral and/or manual clitoral stimulation to get you aroused and lubricated. Just being "ready" emotionally has nothing to do with being ready physically. Also, have some lubrication on hand, because beginners are always nervous, and usually don't lubricate well. Buy some regular sexual lubricant like KY or Astroglide...don't use vaseline or other stuff around the house.
As for size....your vagina is capable of relaxing and allowing even a large penis into it, IF you're well aroused. Think about it......when you give birth a baby comes thru your vagina....and he's not bigger than a baby! (and just as an FYI, the pain of childbirth is from the cramping of the uterus, NOT from the vagina!)
You say he's looked into how to make it easier, and that's kind of him, but you should also know about your body and what you need...if you don't.....go to www.the-clitoris.com and read about it, and he should read it too.
If it doesn't work the first time, then don't worry about it. It'll work the next time, or the time after.....but it WILL work. There's no rush.