Would like guys to respond to this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Would like guys to respond to this...
18
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 3:47pm
I am a single, divorced, very sexual woman..until about 8 mos. ago. Over the last year I have gained a considerable amount of weight. All of my good friends tell me the I "wear it well" and still look very attractive, but I have become very self-concious about my appearance. I have plans to see this man that I dated about a year ago, we have been talking a lot lately, and I know we will probably end up having sex. However, I'm terrified that he will no longer find me exciting or attractive (even though I have told him how I feel). Does a fuller body turn most men off? Guys perspective on this would be greatly appreciated.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 4:28pm
Okay, I'm a woman, however, I thought I'd share my fiancee's thoughts on skinny girls.

He isn't into them. Now I'm not skinny or fat. I'm in good shape, but I'm not rock hard. I have a small pooch where I had a baby and a couple of stretch marks. I'm 5'9 and a size 10-12 depending on my clothes. I'm not overweight, but I could lose 20 pounds and still be in my healthy weight range, so you can clearly see, I'm not skin and bones.

I've dated several men that like to have something to hold onto. I don't think that the whole skinny thing is in anymore. You can look at celbrities now and see more curves on some of them. I'm happy that we have a more healthy image to look at now. Those rail thin models that looked like they would keel over any minute were not the image we needed to admire.

Don't worry about putting on some weight. If you are not satisfied with your appearance, you can exercise and work on it. But don't think that men are out to be with a bunch of skinny women. Most men will tell you that boney is not sexy.

Melissa

<a href="http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wtCMCc4/">
<img border="0" src="http://tickers.Ticker

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 4:58pm
Everyone has preferences but to turn someone off that you have a past with? I think you would have to be obese now to turn him off. But who knows? He may even like obese women...many men do but would never admit to it.

I wouldn't worry about it though. Be yourself, don't apologize for it and see how things go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2003
Fri, 05-07-2004 - 5:30pm
I believe it is personal choice. I prefer a woman who is just slightly larger. I think it is more attractive and everything is softer and smoother. I also think because guys are so visual, we don't really care. Seeing a naked woman is still exciting.

But in reality, whether we admit it or not, sex is a very emotional experience. I am far more satisfied, no I'll say I'm only satisfied when sex is with someone I truly connect with. It is not just a physical act.

Don't be one of those women who are self-concious, instead, be self-confident. Trust me, chances are, if you want him, he will want you.

c

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 12:10am
There's no way that anyone here can tell you what "most" guys like, nor can we tell you what this guy will like, or not like.

I think the important thing is that YOU don't like it. If it bothers you, and makes you self-concious, then you should do something about losing it. I know, that's a lot easier said than done, but if you're not happy with yourself, it will be apparent, and it will affect your responses, and indirectly, his.

I'm overweight myself, and I know it's difficult to lose weight, but in my case, I'm not really self-concious about it, either. My feeling is: "this is me, take it or leave it".

If your meeting is soon, there's not much you can do right now, except accept yourself as you are, and see what happens. If a few extra pounds turns him off, his loss, not yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 4:24am
Well, there's not a lot that you can do about it now if you're meeting him soon.

Every guy has a different preference but feel secure in the knowledge that plenty of guys like their women on the rounder side rather than on the stick side :-) Unless you are truely obese then it shouldn't matter too much - quite possibly not at all. Most guys can handle an attractive woman gaining weight and not be concerned by it.

What is more distracting and more of a turn-off is a woman that feels so selfconcious about her appearance or weight that it affects how she acts and behaves. Be confident and enjoy yourself. Don't talk like a fool about the weight gain or how it makes you feel terrible....

I think that it's probably more about you. If you want to loose the weight then do it. No, of course it's not easy otherwise we'd be a nation of slim people, but it can be done with a bit of willpower and change of lifestyle.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2004
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 11:40am
1-IMO, YOUR self confidence will make you sexy. My wife has a little weight problem; but, she has a good attitude and is very sexy.

2-You need to learn to LIKE your own body. I suggest going around the house doing chores NAKED. My wife has done vacuming the rugs, changing sheets, and laundry NAKED. She is now comfortable with her own body. Her being comfortable has also added to her sexuality. Good luck, mac

 

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-08-2004 - 12:19pm
I agree with the others who say that you have to get rid of this hang-up about your weight and fast before you have this date with him. You must project an air of confidence in yourself. Whining about your added weight will turn him off for sure. If you want to lose the added weight for your own self-esteem, do it, but don't let the added weight ruin your upcomimg reunion!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 10:50am
I have to agree with gigi. Do not let your added wait ruin your reunion. Project confidence. Be sexy. Don't worry about what you look like, worry about who you are. Be yourself above all else, and let things go as they go. From your description I cannot think this guy will be turned off, unless you let it affect you. He will be turned on by your confidence. My SO has kept some baby weight on her, and I love it. When we first met she was so skinny. She had the air about her, and that was what I loved. Her body was nice, but I like it better now. She looks healthier, feels softer, more appealing. Her skin is so soft, and tight. She actually has breasts now, and nicely curved hips. If this guy likes you now, wait till he sees you walk into the room like you own it. Wait till he sees you take the extra weight you have and press it against him. Wait till you see the look in his eye, when you smile and he sees your eyes sparkle brilliantly with the confidence of a super star. Shine. Fill the room with your confidence, and he will see what a wonderful person you are, and the beauty you possess. Your attitude will make or break the situation, so be happy with yourself, and show him you are who you are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 11:18am
Dear Cinderella,

The sexiest women are always the women that KNOW that they are sexy...big or small. Embrace the sexy woman within, and your body will do whatever it needs to to comply with your knowing.

So often we look in the mirror with a critical eye. We see all of our own issues etc. played out on our bodies and face. Love doesn't see that because those issues are illusion. Always best to look at yourself through the eyes of love rather than through the eyes of our narrow egoic perceptions.

Good luck...I'm sure you look just beautiful.

Peace.

Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-10-2004 - 2:10pm
I'm guessing you already saw this guy this past weekend or something, but felt the need to input anyway. Hope ya don't mind.

"...I know we will probably end up having sex. However, I'm terrified that he will no longer find me exciting or attractive..."

Say, are you really ready to with someone you don't quite trust yet? My wife, overweight and all, trusted me enough eventually, but YES she still had image fears anyway. The ONLY thing that knocked her outta that, regarding 'our' relationship anyway, was by focusing on the love relationship we had as opposed to just having sex. Once we got that down, then the sex-tiger in her never stopped roaring (she's rough in bed too......BAM!). Anyway darlin', get yourself 99 guys on these boards that'll say "hot dang! a larger woman!!!" and there will STILL be one with a different taste. Sorry dear, but there are NO words that can make you feel better when you ask what others think instead of what your 'own guy' thinks. Right? Right.

"Does a fuller body turn most men off?"

RAOFL!!! Does an older woman turn most guys off? Does a different race woman turn most guys off? Does a toothpick woman turn most guys off? Does a small-breasted or saggy or too large breasted turn most guys off? Does a beach body with no brains woman turn most guys off? Does a lazy or a cheating or a nagging woman turn most guys off? Sorry Cindy, but sounds like you're in the normal category. Darn it, huh?! ;)

Hmmm...sorry to guilt trip ya, but I pulled this one on my wife the last and final time I heard her talk about her image:

"Love, whats your view of ME gonna be like as I grow older and start gaining weight one of these years?! Got me now."

So you want a MAN's opinion, huh? Have sex (make love) with someone you actually have a trusting caring relationship with...don't settle for someone with a BOY's opinion. Just one reason why I'm attracted more to older women, they just seem more mature and understanding (more often than the younger generation I should say) of real relationships.

Please keep being careful/cautious and good luck. Let us know how it went, my wife is just dying to know!

:)

:)

Mr. & Mrs.

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Pages