you don't like missionary??? WHAT!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
you don't like missionary??? WHAT!!!!
13
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 12:22pm

My boyfriend will try any other postion in the world except missionary.
That sucks! Because I looooove missionary.
I like looking at him, and holding his muscles!
And he won't do it.
He might even put his pants BACK ON! to avoid doing it.

What can I do and say to change his mind?
We haven't done missionary in months! And I'm craving it!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:00pm

Welcome to the board bc07.

Have you tried talking with him about your feelings, outside of the bedroom? He may be self-conscious or he could be having other problems that make him feel uncomfortable in missionary position. I know in that position, guys definitely have to do most of the work, which is physically demanding.

If you want to talk with him and try and figure out why he doesn't enjoy that position, it is best to have a conversation outside of the bedroom, in a casual manner. Perhaps he doesn't realize how important it is to you to incorporate that position.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 1:45pm

"What can I do and say to change his mind?
We haven't done missionary in months! And I'm craving it!!!"

It may take some will power, but refuse him until he obliges you in the missionary position. I have had to use refusal and ultimatums in the past and it works! I have an iron will the patients of Job I can always out last DH so now he's learned not to even try to resist or hold out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2005
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 2:28pm
Yes the iron will will work, but try the easy way. Play some cards or strip poker and if you win you prize will be missionary if you lose, then you do it his way. Play another night and another until you win. We play backgammon, poker, The Sex Game, and bet on football games for sexual pleasure. Try it - it is better than being mean and having an iron will. Try the gentle approach. When I win, I ask her to sit on my face - which DW doean't particulary like but DW then enjoys it. So you can win and win, but if you lose, you still can win. Play, Play again and have fun.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:06pm
I don't get it. 80% of my sex life has been missionary, more or less, I'm sure I've had sex with over 30 girls. You can amp it up if you're flexible by doing cool stuff like wrapping your arms around your thighs and holding them up close to your chest. Really, it can be tons and tons of fun and super intimate to boot! By far the best way to have access for kissing ... and who on earth doesn't like to kiss when f'ing?!??!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:07pm
Great idea funone! I agree that the best way to get sexual satisfaction is to think in a positive way. Using the games as you suggested gives both partners something to hope for and look forward to without making anyone feel badly :-)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 06-26-2007 - 3:57pm

>>> 80% of my sex life has been missionary <<<

maybe that's why

maybe there is so much stress put on missionary as a bland/vanilla postion, that he doesn't want to

he wants to be super porn man who can pull off the Triple Lindy, in bed

maybe his knees hurt, or it strains his back, only he can say WHY & if he WON'T talk about it, that's a whole other topic

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:11pm
I'm not a card player or any game player for that matter. I prefer to handle my disputes differantly. If I want to play a game I wouldn't be in the mood for sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:27pm

Interesting comment danidi. For me, making love to my DH is much like a dance. Having sex with him is much more like a funky dance. Either way, the goal is to connect with him, to enjoy each other and to have fun. I find that we enjoy the mutual pleasures -- neither of us enjoys being demanding or controlling of the other. In that respect, I do find it to be playful in general. Having an enjoyable time in life -- whether it be through a card game, a good meal, or a satisfying sexual encounter -- is a treat in my book. They are the things that make me feel happy and lucky to be alive!

I personally feel that with holding sex would build up resentment for BOTH of us. I would be constantly reminded of "why" we weren't having sex, which would ultimately lead to my own frustration and unhappiness. In my life, I find that I am much happier when looking at the positive aspect of things. Having a battle of the wills is merely a search to find the weaker partner. I know if I was forbidden pleasure until I broke my will, chances are, there would be no more pleasure to be had.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:35pm

Thanks everyone for your help!
I got him to have missionary last night! And it was great.
I just asked him why he wouldn't. If he didn't like doing all the work?
Once I told him that I just liked to be skin on skin, close, and holding his muscles ... he dove right in!
Haha.
You guys have a lot of really good advice that I think I will definetly be trying.

Thanks!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 06-27-2007 - 1:41pm
Thanks for sharing the great news! Hopefully the two of you will be enjoying this position more often ;-)


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