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| Mon, 08-09-2004 - 4:20am |
HERE IS THE DOOZIE...
He doesn't like nor does he want to receive a blow job. I LOVE giving BJ's but he refuses. Says the it has never turned him on and he will go limp if I try. I didn't really believe it so I asked again if I could try...he said ok - but the moment my mouth came close to his penis - he went completely limp. I tried sucking him off anyway to see if I could get it hard again...but it was a LOST CAUSE. I asked if his dislike of oral sex (he won't go down on women either - BUMMERS!!) had to do with a bad experience in his past (too much teeth - something) but he said that he doesn't think so. He seems to have issues with the oral aspect of things - the kissing with no tongue, no BJ's and no going down...but he doesn't understand where it comes from either.
Any ideas? Suggestions? Explanations??? Help please!!!

He's not unusual, many men have a problem with giving and/or receiving oral sex. The tongue kissing is just an extension of the whole thing. Maybe he's got a "germ" problem. Maybe his family was very religious, and he was taught that sex was dirty, or nasty, or oral sex is a perversion. Maybe he was abused, but he's supressing the memory of it. But, unless you're trained in counselling, I think you need to leave it alone. As I said, if you want to be with him, accept the "quirks", and if you can't live with the "quirks", then move on.
I just answered another post here where I said that you have to accept him for who he is and what he wants. If you can't find a suitable compromise you have to accept that part of him or find someone-else. It doesn't seem fair because oral sex is a widely accepted and enjoyed sexual act, but there isn't much you can do about it.
Who knows anyway? You got him to kiss with his tongue over time. There's always a small possibility that he will change his ideas about oral sex over time too.