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| Tue, 07-26-2005 - 6:58pm |
I have a situation at work though innocent I cannot seem to figure out. The company that I work for has two closely located offices. Anyhow from time to time I travel to the other office for training or meetings. There is one person there whom I have regular contact with and for the life of me cannot understand their actions. On the surface they are quite outgoing and friendly. When I am around their eyes light up and we can talk for hours. Furthermore when they are around me they brush up against me alot and lately they have started to get touchy feely with me. It does not make me uncomfortable and in a way a bit flattered. Though when I am around I notice I am the only one that they brush up against or get touch feely with.
We are both married and neither of has eluded to making more of it. For me I don't want to push it any further but sometimes think I could push more if I wanted. All need is to get a bit more understanding of what is going on since this is a very different type of situation for me and I want to be prepared. For the life of me I just cannot figure it out and would like some imput into this.

Sounds pretty straightforward to me....he's "feeling you out" with his increasingly intimate advances, to see if you might be receptive. He probably made longer eye contact with you at first while engaging you in conversation, now it's moved on to being more physically intimate to see how you'll react.
IF you allow him to continue making inappropriate physical contact, then he will likely take the opportunity and eventually become more bold. IF an affair isn't what you want, then you should put a halt to it now.
I'm not sure what it is that you're not understanding. He's married, you're married, and he's getting "touchy-feely" with you. That's inappropriate, unless you're both looking at having an affair. It's also inappropriate in the workplace.
If an affair is what you're looking for, then go for it. If you have a marriage that you value, then tell him to keep his hands to himself. He's making the "offer".....it's up to you to accept it, or not.
Different relationships seem to set different boundaries, even regarding marriage. Golden rule of course is always to treat your own situation the same way you'd appreciate your partner/spouse to as well. Thats obviously a given.
I'm the type, in my marriage anyway, who just doesn't believe in physical contact like that with anyone but the Mrs. or a close trusted relative like a child or a parent or a sibling of sort. The touching should be kept very professional, especially in the workplace, to avoid any possibility of being misconstrued. The body brushing is IMHO inexcusable.
Like I said though, one couple's boundaries/rules may likely be different than another. As far as guessing what the "brusher" may be up to, I agree that its a possible shark sizing the raft sorta speak.
C H A R A C T E R
It's quite obvious he is coming on to you. If you are not prepared to stop it immediately or discourage his advances, then you must be considering options. If you are considering options then there must be reasons for that too. I don't think anyone should pass judgement on a woman that is considering options, since no one knows your reasons. Just think clearly when you start to make decisions. It's your life.
Jen