Zorro......

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2004
Zorro......
16
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 9:03am
Hi ya'll. I have an issue and am hoping that someone else has come up against something similar.

Hubby and I have been married for almost two years. A year ago I bought a Zorro mask for him to wear while having sex. I can't tell you what it's done for our sex life. It's just about the sexiest thing I've ever encountered -- imagine how a little thing like a mask can do that. At first he was very excited about wearing it, but I can't seem to get him to wear it more than once in a while. I would want him to wear it every single time if possible, shouldn't he wear it at least every other time? It's only a mask. Bless your little hearts if you can advise me.


Edited 10/27/2004 9:05 am ET ET by peachy_keene

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 10:47am

He might be getting bored with wearing it and the novelty wore off.


bounxh0a-1.gif picture by dillbyrd

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 11:48am
I want my DH to wear a penis extension because I love the way it feels and looks and it gets me very excited. I'd take it every single time(only for one orgasm), but I have settled for less. He too is losing interest, and I have to investigate the reason.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 11:56am
If my boyfriend asked me to wear a mask EVERY TIME we had sex, I would really wonder what was going on. I would think he didn't like ME so much and was fantasizing about someone else. Have you always liked masks and such things, or is this a new thing for you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 4:18pm
I think that it's simply because it's outside his comfort zone.

Everyone likes a little something to spice things up once in a while. Sometimes we realise that the little thing that we are using to spice it up with is a bigger deal for our partner than it is for us.

Your husband probably enjoyed the mask the first few times for the thrill. But after a while he's realised that it's not him wearing a mask that turns you on, it's the mask itself that is getting the reaction. He will be starting to realise that you have a bit of a fetish regarding the mask.

No doubt he is feeling that you like sex with the mask more than you do with him. He isn't wearing it as often simply because it's gotten old for him (even though you still like it) and its making him feel a bit uncomfortable wearing it all the time.

I think that you have to find a way of compromising with him. Judging by his behaviour it sounds like wearing the mask even every other time is too much for him. Talk to him about it and see if you can't come to some arrangement.

This would apply to penis extensions and pretty well anything else as well.

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 9:57pm
I thinkthat your husband has developed a "hang-up" about the mask. He thinks you need IT more than you need him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Wed, 10-27-2004 - 10:23pm
Would you wear a wig EVERY time if he asked....I think for awhile and then you'd wonderm does he not like my hair color, does he not like my looks, is he fantasizing of another woman, coworker. Sooner or later it would grow old, I think he is probably feeling that you like the mask, or the fantasy more than you enjoy your time with HIM, is this so, do you rely on the fantasy too much?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 5:46am
Oh my gawsh, can anyone say LINGERIE!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
In reply to: peachy_keene
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 9:00am
I must say that I do find some of the replies so far pretty interesting on this...they make very good sense. :)

How would a brunette feel if her hubby wanted her in a blonde wig every time they had sex? Is it possible that your hubba hubba may have the same thought or feeling as well? The mask adds excitement, nothing wrong with that, lol, but is it possible that he'll feel that he himself isn't exciting enough after a while?

I think asking yourself how he feels will help you AND him keep enjoying. To you, it really is just a mask. To him, if its just a silly old mask, then do you want it so often? Right? Its obviously wanted for more reasons than simply being an ordinary mask, and those are the reasons that may unintentionally make him feel a bit less desirable on his own than he is with that mask that you really want him to wear.

Hope the responses are helpful. :)

C h a r a c t e r


above all else


Mr. Para

 

C  H  A  R  A  C  T  E  R

Avatar for katmandoo2001
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: peachy_keene
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 12:34pm
I think it's pretty clear that he's feeling "pushed aside" for your anonymous stranger fantasy. Put yourself in his place.

How would you feel if suddenly YOU weren't enough for him and he insisted that you wear a wig, talk differently and pretend to be someone else EVERY time you were intimate? Not only would it get old, it would be as if he were saying that his sweet wife of 2 years isn't exciting enough anymore.

Don't get hung up on one thing. Keep experimenting, keep looking for new ways to excite each other and remember, if one of you isn't enjoying it anymore, it's time to find something else that you BOTH will. Put the mask away for now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
In reply to: peachy_keene
Thu, 10-28-2004 - 4:27pm
>>Oh my gawsh, can anyone say LINGERIE!!!!!<<

OK, I'll bite since I was having this discussion on another topic somewhere. :-)

First of all, of course lingerie CAN cause same problem if the person with the fetish wants it worn all the time. This applies to simply anything. Wear/use any one thing often enough and problems arise.

BUT; I think that a subtle but significant couple of differences is that lingerie is generally seen to be erotic in it's own right, and is used to enhance what God has given the woman wearing it - that is, it makes the wearer look better. It doesn't transform or give the wearer a new identity per se. The mask in this case is not inherently sexy but the person with the fetish sees it that way, and the person wearing it is not enhanced, they are transformed into another person in the eyes of the person with the fetish.

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