1 way to orgasm for me

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
1 way to orgasm for me
20
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 12:11pm
Its puzzling how I can only come to orgasm while we're having sex when I'm on top of him as he's inside me. I have to rub myself against his shaft a few minutes & can have them over & over & over (REALLY I mean it!) I can have them a few seconds in between if I allow the blood to go down between each one & start the rubbing again...Its great! However, I don't get the good feelings "I hear can happen" as he performs oral sex or when I have him play with my clitoris with his fingers. We do all types of fun positions and that is fun to get wild but I don't oragsm. We've used a vibrator on the outside near my clitoris & orgasm. We have tried having him rub my clitoris as he's behind me while I'm on all 4's, missionary style, straddling him backwards,oral sex with fingers,
.............still nothing?
Do any women in this board have or have had problems & have some help to my situation.
I don't want to be a boring experience each time....as my hubby may feel that it's
soooooo routine. thanks in advance.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Tue, 11-15-2005 - 11:03pm

Grace,

I'm sure you're frustrated that you haven't been able to reach orgasm in any position other than the one. I don't have an answer for you about that aspect of your problem, but I will address your concern that sex might be boring for your husband because of it.

I think I speak for all men when I say that helping your woman have an orgasm is NEVER boring, especially if she has several! Have you talked to your husband about it? I doubt he is bored by the woman-on-top position. First of all, most men really like that position, for a lot of reasons I won't go into now. Second, I'm 99% sure he doesn't mind doing that every time if it's what you need in order to reach orgasm. And if you are having multiple orgasms in that position, I am 99% sure he's loving every minute of it.

You can still try different positions just to keep it interesting, even if you have to go back to the "old standby" to finish. Who knows, maybe you'll find another position or two that allow you to reach orgasm. In the mean time, by all means do what works! Just an idea: could you use the position that works for you until you are satisfied, then let him pick the position for his climax? That might alleviate your concerns about it being boring for him.

Why not ask your husband if he finds it "routine" when you ride his manhood to multiple orgasms on a regular basis. Somehow I think he'll say no. Maybe you can't imagine how many men would LOVE to be in his shoes, but I assure you there are MANY.

I'm sure there are some ladies here who can offer suggestions of different positions you could try that might work as well as the one you've found already. But I wanted to give you a male perspective, that what you have now is probably not at all boring for your husband. If you are enjoying it, I'm sure he is too.

FB

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 10:11am

Grace - Do you masturbate? Can you achieve orgasm that way? The reason I ask is that a lot of women masturbate seldom or not at all, and don't ever really get to know their bodies very well.


Also, did you know that something like 75% (don't quote me on the actual percentage) of women do not orgasm from penetration alone? Yes, its great when it happens, but it just doesn't work that way for most people.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 11:54am

Yes...I have masturbated many times before, as I typed a post on my "spouse fondling or masturbating". I don't do it on a regular basis or very often. Its been months since the last time.
I feel empty when I do it though. I like to experience this euphoric feeling while I'm with my husband. It seems as though masturbation is just a false fix for when I'm in the mood, or in case ones denied or not physically available. I dunno? HELP!

If I think of my husband there are times I get that vibrator out and stimulate my clitoris for awhile and do oragsm as I use a vibrator. I phone my husband at work as I am. My fingers or my husbands have never felt close to giving me the orgasms. When I'm on top or with my vibrator using it on the outside of my genital near my clitoris. I need to have a good deal of pressure but not too much. My genitalia is just too picky on what feels good huh?

Masturbation feels kinda bad to me too. I feel like I'm doing soemthing wrong. I never was told as a child that masturbation was bad, because I always did it very secretly so noone knew.

whatcha think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 12:28pm
There's a book out there called the Good Girl's Guide To Bad Girl Sex I think you might like. It isn't what you think it is, it is more about getting to know your sexual self, getting to know your body, etc. I think you might enjoy it. And it DOES touch on your issues about masturbation as well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 12:39pm


Fly boy,
I'll need to ask you to explain the reasons for which you didn't explain in your last response. Why would most men would love to have their spouse on top? Why would men love to be in my husbands shoes? Just curious a perspective coming from other than my husband.

Also, I have already talked to him about the boredom with how I only know what works for me to orgasm. Your right, he did say he loves my being on top & also so he can see my breast move & he can touch them. We just bought my full C breasts a few weeks ago!! I'm a Mom who breast feed ya know! They got small after that, so we got em done!

Isn't it in his mind walking on dangerous territory with me, if he won't answer "yes I like it that you have to be on top" since we're married he may think he has to say "yes".

I apparently please him very well as I don't hold back with his requests. He laughed when I asked him if he likes it or is bored like "are you crazy"? I am open to his requests in pleasing him in his desires as for some women a lot of things are a "No No". So in that perspective I am fun & adventurous with him & with eachothers body. We're not into swinging with couples though!! We are a Christian couple who enjoys the gift of sex that was made for us marrieds privately!

I also asked him if I am not as sexy or look as good as I did at 125 lbs. I've lost 15lbs due to an overactive lifestyle & not enough daily calories. I'm a tiny 110lbs at 5'6 small frame. I feel like the lack of my curves right now has hindered my physical attractivness & his desiring me. Is it possible that he can be turned off or does that pertain more if I was overweight? Do most men like their women to initiate the sex even if like me I'm ALWAYS open for sex and don't deny their husbands? Is it ego building?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 3:42pm
Are you a little bit crazy? Just teasing. I'm a woman and I can't believe what you are saying. Let me get this straight, you're tiny with fantastic breasts, you phone your husband at work to tell him you are getting yourself off and you prefer to be on top? Do you bring him a beer while he watches the game too? You sound like every man's dream! what are you worring for? Sit back and enjoy it. I totally get the feeling empty after masturbating thing, not that it stops me from doing it. It's just nice to have the closeness too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 4:45pm

As I do these things he also does them too. I don't him bring beer but I make our dinner & serve him, rub tired feet,rub his back, greet him with a lot of love & smiles.
Yes, I do all these great things that I also get back from him in return.

I do it all to show my appreciation & love for his working so hard at work while I get to stay at home with my daughter & be on the comouter all day as I have today!!
...OOOPS
there goes my list of to do's for today! No, I'm not crazy I'm just "ME"! ; )

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 5:00pm
I was totally only joking about the beer thing! Don't get me started on "serving my man" . Hubby doesn't lift a finger. The other morning he offered to help so I said he could change the boys beds, I even handed him the sheets. 15 minutes later he calls me in the room and asked which sheets go where. He took one set of sheets off one bed and put them on the other bed!!! When asked what percentage of the household work he contributed, he answered 10% if he wanted something,less if not! I'm a total housewife. One day he phoned me at home from work and said he needed some good news. I excitedly told him I found a product that got the rust stain off of the laundry room sink! His female coworkers didn't get my enthusiasm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2005
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 6:50pm
Gotcha!! Yeah, I find that I get a lot of remarks from my husbands friends wives that
I make them look bad over here in S.Calif. They look bad for what I do for my man? Hmmmm
that math didn't match even though I'm not good with numbers. Afterall they can be doing the same thing for their man as I do to mine.
Women can be waaaaaaaay feminist! I love my man & the things I do for him I do because
I treat him as I like to be treated.
The golden rule~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~it still applies to at least some of us in the world!
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 11-16-2005 - 7:09pm
gracesavedme, after reading all these posts, I just have to wonder where your problem IS. You have no problem having orgasms during intercourse, which puts you up in the top 20% of women. On top of that, you can have multple oragsms!!. I think you are pulling our legs here. I am a man and sure wish that my wife had YOUR problems. We have to work extremely hard to get her to orgasm and it does NOT occur during intercourse. Your husband is a lucky guy. Have no fear that he is dissatisfied!!

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