Absence ????? a question...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Absence ????? a question...
7
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 7:40am

Absence makes the heart grow ... weary?


A recent study shows that for men, the old adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true, but for women, it couldn't matter less. When your

memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 8:54am

The longest we've ever been away from each other in 28 years has been for a week on a few different occasions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 12:17pm
I don't know about getting any fonder but it does make us appreciate each other more when we finally get back together.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Fri, 11-04-2005 - 12:28pm

The longest we have been apart was for 3 months while I was away taking a summer class at a school in another state. I think I really appreciated our relationship and truly missed his companionship while we were apart. Since we were in the beginning of our relationship during this long time apart, both of us had a very increased libido. LOL!

The second time we were apart was for two weeks while dh went on a business trip. I missed him and I knew he really missed me. The day he came home he hid in the house, came up behind me and hugged me spinning me around. It was very romantic, and obviously I still think about it often.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2001
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 4:43am

>>how much time do you spend 'apart'...not just him or you going to work but in days???<<

We're apart at the moment but it's only five days, and it was five days the week before. The longest I think has been a month - we had a vaguely LDR when we started dating.
We spent a couple of months apart last year when I was overseas.

As far as her not caring less and me loving her more during an absence? I think you've got that backwards haven't you? My partner keeps telling me how much she *loves* and misses me and I couldn't care less. I think it's because she has to buy herself TV dinners when I'm away and not there to cook and I enjoy not having to cook and tidy the house. In that respect I like being away - reminds her not to take me for granted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 7:33am

When your dh/dw is away, do you think your love deepens? Does your libido strengthen?

Yes and yes

how much time do you spend 'apart'...not just him or you going to work but in days??? What is the longest you have been apart??

Honestly, not much. (We even work together.)

We've been apart various times for a week or so (for work-related conferences). I find it much easier to be the one 'away' as opposed to the one at home waiting. I miss him terribly when he's gone. I know it sounds sappy, but I have a really, really hard time sleeping when he's not in bed with me. When he was gone for a week, it was after 8 years of marriage. I used his pillow because it still had his 'scent' on it and was comforting. By night 3, I was sobbing for him to come home. I am sure that I could survive it again now that I've been through it, but the first time was he**.

One positive thing was that I could do what I want when I wanted, and that was kind of fun. But, even with DH here, I've gotten better about 'doing my own thing.'

Judy




Judy 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 10:53am
The longest I've been away from DH was 3 weeks. I got sick and went to Wyoming to be with my parents. I missed him terribly, but due to my illness I can't say it did anything for my libido. My absence did make me realize that you just don't know what you have until it's gone. Yeah..I have to say it made my heart grow fonder
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 6:42pm

>A recent study shows that for men, the old adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true, but for women, it >couldn't matter less. When your dh/dw is away, do you think your love deepens? Does your libido strengthen?

My love for DW deepens slightly each time I'm away from her. My libido depends on how much time I have to think about sex. If I'm really busy, I can go a week without thinking about it much. If I'm not busy at all, I think about it (and her) all day (and hang out on these boards, LOL). Answering for DW, I don't know if her love for me deepens when I'm gone. I know her libido drops though, because she's too busy running the household and taking care of the kids to have time to think about sex, unless I write her a sexy letter or something. Maybe when the kids are all in school that will change.

>how much time do you spend 'apart'...not just him or you going to work but in days??? What is the longest you >have been apart??

In the last two years, we've been apart for about 16 months total. The longest stretch we've been apart is 4 months, twice. In our 9 years of marriage, we've had about 14 periods of separation longer than a month. Plus we had a LDR before we got married, for two years while she finished college, during which time we saw each other 3-4 times a year.

Separation doesn't get easier with experience. If anything, each one is harder than the last. Right now I've been gone for 4 weeks, with 5 more to go. :(

In case you were wondering, I'm in the Navy.

R