Bringing In A Third Person During Sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2005
Bringing In A Third Person During Sex
13
Sun, 03-27-2005 - 8:59pm
I've deleted this message because it seems to make a lot of people in this area uncomfortable. I've taken the topic over to the "Taboos" board instead. Thanks to all who replied and I apologize if I've offended anyone.


Edited 3/29/2005 8:43 pm ET ET by leashedtigress

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 2:45pm
We would like to encourage everyone to please continue this discussion on the Taboos

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 1:51pm

Another angle I think about as I read all this is that for some people living this lifestyle does work - but the relationships starts OUT this way -


I really feel like there will be issues - however unexpected and however much you think you can think this through - that are going to arise after you've been in a committed, safe, secure, relationship and then try to open these doors.... the doors to me should remain closed.


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MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 1:47pm
I think a married or unmarried couple bringing in a third person whether its another man or woman is surely going to hurt the existing relationship. There's bound to be jealousy when you really act it out and someone is going to feel left out and its definitely not going to be the outsider, which leaves one of you. This in my opinion is going to cause friction and things might not be the same afterwards. Talking about it or fantasising about it is entirely different to acting it out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 11:33am

I'd never do it. It's one thing to talk about it (which can be exciting) or to watch porn with threesomes on it (something we like to do too), but when you bring in real flesh and more importantly real feelings, you're asking for it.

You can think you'll be cool about it, but as a woman, once you have GREAT sex like this, you're going to get emotionally involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 9:27am

It's not for Dh and I.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2004
Tue, 03-29-2005 - 8:19am

If I were you I'd take him up on the offer to video tape. Then at least you get to exhibit your inner exhibitionist!

And maybe if you're acting all super hot once your hubby is done, you can look his friend in the eye (or the camera lens) and say "I need more _____. Please give me more."

I've always fantasized about two guys so let us know how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2003
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 6:37pm

Our motto is: Fantasy - good. Reality - bad.


To me, marriage vows preclude a third person in the bed. Even if the idea has *physical* postive potential, the potential negative effects on the emotions and other parts of the marriage just aren't worth it.



Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their color.  Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense and choosing your friends by their color is unthinkable.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 9:08am

I have to say No way for me and my DH...I will not 'share him' or 'share myself' with anyone but each other. To me theres way to many problems that come out off a thing like this.


we tend to talk about married sex here on The Secrets of Married Sex, and so if this topic is not widely responded to, you'll know why. It might be a better question taken over to Fantasies

memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 8:26am

Welcome to the board!!!


I am a whole hearted advocate for the sacredness of the marriage bed, so naturally, I personally am not for threesomes of any kind, as is my DH.


That being said, if you and your DH are both open to the experience, whatever floats your boat. Do I think it's a good idea? No. It seems you have both talked openly about this and thought about it and are not taking it lightly, so I just hope you are careful and that no hurt feelings come from it.


If you have to pursaude the third party to join, then I would consider a different third party. Is having that particular man be with you in the threesome worth more than his friendship with your DH and you?


Good luck.


Jennie




MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 8:13am

I guess I will add my thoughts as they are more about consequences then the act.

-Pam

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