do I have reason to feel offended?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2004
do I have reason to feel offended?
9
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 10:18am
Hello. I would like some insight.
Last night DH and I had sex and everything went well...but a few hours later he was in the bathroom masterbating before bed. I feel offended ~ like I am not enough for him. What do you think? Am I wrong to feel this way?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 1:29am
i wouldn't be offended...but then again, i've always liked to watch my bfs masturbate.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 11:47pm
hears another thought, ( it may not be what u want to hear) maybe,just maybe,the sex wasn't as good for him as you thought,and he had to finish later in the bathroom? and that's just my opinion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-02-1999
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 9:33pm

I personally like when DH 'takes care of himself' before we have sex. I find that he lasts much longer that way. Is it possible that could be the reason that your DH masturbates? If so, he may be doing it for you.


Christine


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2004
Mon, 03-28-2005 - 6:13pm

I think people really should get over the notion that there is something, somehow wrong with masterbation. Had I been you, I would have watched a bit and then gone in to help him out. Sometimes though, after sex, it is easier to masterbate than it is to go for the full session again if he is still in the mood. He may have been tired but still having a build up of fluid that needed to be released. Since he knows that somehow you are not comfortable with masterbation, he did it on his own which was actually very thoughtfull of him if he knew you were done and wanted to go to sleep. It can take quite a while for my DH to orgasam twice so he usually ends up wearing me out and either using his hand or just giving up altogether.

I think that women very often do not realize the physiological makeup of men and that men have fluids that Need to be releasd. People get the notion that masterbation is wrong because in the bible it talks about not "spilling your seed on the ground." This was written during a time when the earth was being populated and God said to "multiply and replenish the earth." Well, times have changed and the earth is populated quite well and masterbation should not be considered a "sin" or wrong. Or that you somehow don't meet your husband's needs. Just try to relax and enjoy it. I Like to watch my husband take care of himself so much that we usually end up together. It's all good. He isn't "cheating" by having sex without you involved. Hugs, P.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 2:15pm

TCB,

Being offended 99.9% of the time is due to taking something personally that is not personal at all.

A couple hours after really good sex with my wife, I may review the evening mentally and have the need for another orgasm. The more turned on that I was with my wife, the more likely this is to happen with me. It's more common for me to masturbate the day after or a couple hours after really good sex than it is on the "quieter" nights.

Peace.
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Tue, 03-22-2005 - 10:43am
I would be wondering too....might just be a man thing....my dh can't keep his hands out of his pants LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 5:56pm
I agree with the others, I wouldn't think anything of it and I wouldn't be offended. And as the others said, the better it is, the more I want. Many times after a good sex session, I'll wake up a few hours later wanting it again. If it's a weeknight that Dh has to get up very early for work, I don't wake him up, I just take care of myself or sometimes it's just for a quick release. There have been times when he's done the same thing. Masturbating has nothing to do with your partner not satisfying you or not being good enough.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2003
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 4:20pm

I have done this myself. It had nothing to do with feeling dissatisfied with my husband and our sex life. It has to do with the more good sex I get the more I want and generally my husband isn't up (excuse the pun) for round two within a few hours.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2005
Mon, 03-21-2005 - 2:43pm

Maybe your session together was too good.

-Pam

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