Dont feel satisfied in bed

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2004
Dont feel satisfied in bed
3
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:59pm
Hi I'm so confused about my sex life right now. On the 19th it'll be our first anniversary, we just had a baby 4 months ago, we also have a 4 yr old. Sex was so good before baby, thats all i thought about and wanted was sex sex sex. but now i've come to dread it. my husband is working out of town right now, he comes home on the weekends. He's ready to go as soon as he walks through the door. I've been finding myself trying to put it off and off. When we have sex it is good real good. but it just dont feel the same as it did before. there was this one time when I took the kids to my sisters. came home and we had incredible sex. I had mutiple orgasms. but since then it's real hard for me to orgasm. Could it be that the kids are around or could it be me? Husband has been asking me why I wont orgasm like I did on that day when i took the kids to my sisters. I really cant answer him cause I dont have an answer. he's asked me before if i'm cheating, i'm scared that if i dont figure this out our marriage will take a fall.Some advice please.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 7:31am
It's not just you. It's almost every mom, especially one with a 4 year old and a 4 month old and a husband out of town! I go through the same thing. If everything is going perfectly, the house is clean, the bills are paid, the kids are away (which almost never happens), DH and I have been getting along great and their has been some verbal foreplay, and I've managed to sleep...I'm so turned on! Take a few of those things away and my drive goes down. It's so normal. Your hormones are out of whack, you're home with the kids, you may or may not be taking care of yourself as far as eating healthy, sleeping, wearing makeup, dressing up, getting quiet time, going for a walk alone. Make yourself a priority and try to get your sister to take them more often. It will come. When I was planning the second pregnancy, I honestly thought "well I'm doing all of the care for one child anyway, a second one won't be any more work". Boy was i wrong! There is 5 years difference between them, a newborn needs totally differnt care than a 5 year old. I have 2 children and twice the work! I wish someone had corrected me. But we all need to learn these things for ourself though, don't we?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 8:43am

I agree with T, take some time just for you during the week, even if its only a hour! do something for you! Also you just had a baby 4 months ago it will take some time. If you had 'great' sex before the baby then you'll have 'great' sex again...in time! Also sit down and talk with your DH about this, don't just say "I dont' know" let him know just how your feeling and whats going on with you. Tell him what we said about your body and it happens to all women out there. so your not alone! My two were 3yrs apart and it took me over year after my 2nd to 'get back' to where we were before she was born! so take your time and don't worry about it! it will come back like it should! Also about him asking if your cheating...was he joking or was it real, it was real then you both need to talk long and hard about things.


Now take some time just for you! and let us knwo how things go!!


MEME


All sex should be called LovePlay, From the first kiss until the final embrace during after glow. It all part of one big sexual banquet, when you enjoy the banquet the appetizer is just as important and enjoyable as the main course. Michael Castleman.


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memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 10:42am

Hey Cass