Family Reunion and sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2004
Family Reunion and sex
3
Tue, 08-26-2014 - 10:04am

My wife and I have been married for 13 years.  She was married previously and has 3 adult sons from a previous marriage.  They like to get together for a familiy vacation periodically for about a week or more.  It seems everytime we get together for anytime of a vacation, even with my family, she doesn't want to have sex.  Does anyone think this is normal?  Early in our relationship, we went to my parent's home and she wanted to have sex a couple of times and it was good.  At some point, one these trips, the sex went away and when we get back home, sex is also infrequent more than I would like.  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 08-26-2014 - 10:24am

'...Does anyone think this is normal? '

Yes, imho, it's absolutely normal. I gather you and your wife are in your 50s... and married for 13 years. Not teeange lovebirds in their second month of dating. The very last thing on your wife's mind during a family reunion holiday would be sex. I remember you from a related board and I believe you are very HL and your wife is LL. It's just unfathomable to me that you somehow expect her to lust for you during this week,  surrounded by children, parents and relatives when she's a woman in her 50s and has been having sex with you for so many years.    I'm sure if this one week was the very last before you and her were to be separated for a couple of months she would want to have sex once, or even twice. But that's not the case, is it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 08-26-2014 - 10:52am

I think a lot depends on where you are staying--if there is any chance that relatives could overhear you having sex, I can see that it would make her uncomfortable.  if you were in a hotel in your own room, then I think it would be different.  I also think that being around family members must have some kind of psychological effect on her and I don't want to over-analyze it, not knowing her, but if she was brought up thinking that sex was bad or some other kind of thing like that, it could still have an effect.  Have you spoken to her about why this is?  By the way, if it's one week out of the year, I think you could deal with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2013
Tue, 08-26-2014 - 12:17pm

I think it is completely normal. Your wife is probably already stressed over the family reunion so back off and let her alone.