Fantasies

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2008
Fantasies
13
Fri, 01-08-2010 - 2:05pm

So - Could any of you ladies give me some advice as to how I can encourage my wife in to sharing her fantasies with me? Is this possible or is it the natures of fantasies that they be private?

Maybe this belongs in the Fantasies section?




Edited 1/27/2010 4:20 pm ET by tripten

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: tripten
Sat, 01-16-2010 - 9:31pm

How long we continue the role play really varies.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2008
In reply to: tripten
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 9:00am

During a trip to Vegas two years ago, we watched a porn video together for the first/only time. It was tagged as a "Couples" video and was centered around the woman. It did arouse her and I asked what about it aroused her and she replied thinking of me doing those things to her. I didn't think to much about it since at that point in the video, it had pretty much been M/F doing things we do anyway. There was a FMF scene later but by that time, our interest had already turned to each other :)

I do think the erotica things might work. She doesn't buy erotica but I know she goes on Website where toys are sold and reads the user experience sections. I assume that gets her in the mood for her solo fun.

Thanks again all...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: tripten
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 8:59am

tripten,


how can you be running out of time??


Talking never hurts, it always helps. Might not help today or even next week but if you keep talking it helps in the long run.


Plus you can't make someone comfortable, she has to feel it, you can help her by just being there and being open with her and talking to her as much as you can. keeping the lines open is what works!


Now one thing you need to know most people's "ME TIME" is just that "ME TIME" its not to be shared or even talked about with someone. And just because your wife doesn't say to you "I had 5 O's today while playing with myself" doesn't mean she isn't doing it. just means she thinks that time is all hers and not to be shared.


I have been married 30yrs next month, we don't talk about our "me time" with each other, we know we both do it but its something we keep to ourselfs, nothing wrong with that.


The big thing is you said it..."We really have a great marriage and talk about "almost" everything" and thats alot more than most have so be happy where you are!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2008
In reply to: tripten
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 8:54pm

Thanks - I guess I feel like I'm running out of time. We've been married almost 20 years. Not sure how much more talking will help. Its certainly not a "problem". We really have a great marriage and talk about "almost" everything.

I do know she doesn't care to talk about her solo "toy play" while I'm at work. I can't quite figure out how to make her feel comfortable enough to share it (assuming it is an issue of "comfort"). I think I've used about every opening I can think of...

"...did you do anything exciting today?"
"I really hope you had a chance to some something for yourself today..."
"Did you get to have any 'feel good' time today"
Also the blatant - "I hope you have fun with your toys today"
etc.

On the other hand, she is an independent minded which is one of the things I love/respect. I want to be a part of as much of her life as possible, including the fun stuff - not just... "the kids did this today", I went to the gym", "I had lunch with Karen", etc.

Hmmm. Now I sound selfish... Never mind...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: tripten
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 10:30am

Tripten,


Just keep talking to her, and let her talk when she feels she can fully open up she will!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
In reply to: tripten
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 5:39pm

How long were in character?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2008
In reply to: tripten
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 2:35pm
Thanks everyone. I just want her to have the fullest life possible. I guess if/when she feels she wants to share, that when she will. Maybe she doesn't have the fantasy "gene". In the meantime, I'll continue to show my unconditional love.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
In reply to: tripten
Tue, 01-12-2010 - 12:13pm

Hi tripten, and welcome. :)


I think the others have given you some good advice already, but you may also find this link from sexpert Tracey Cox helpful: http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_85h52dfd,00.html

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2009
In reply to: tripten
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 12:06pm

Once DH and I agreed to do some role play, that had us talking a bit more.

 


 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: tripten
Mon, 01-11-2010 - 9:17am
Hi there. Anything is possible. It's just a matter of if she wants to share them. Some people just like to keep them to themselves. Or she could be embarrassed about them.



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