Happily married - but need some advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2008
Happily married - but need some advice!
15
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 7:51am

So I've been reading a lot of these discussions over the past few months, but finally took the plunge and decided to put my own up here.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 10:09am
Welcome to the board, bostonmatt. One thing DW and I have been doing to help spice things up over the past several months is working our way through Laura Corn's 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex. The seductions in the book come in the form of sealed pages, half for you and half for her, that you take turns tearing out and doing for each other. It takes the pressure off of you (and/or her) for having to be the one to come up with fresh ideas all the time, and the seductions aren't so 'out there' that they'll likely freak her out.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 10:11am

Hi bostonmatt, nice to meet you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2006
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 10:36am

You make a wonderful point in your post, Chucky! You could criticize or prod or encourage or pester (or whatever appropriate verb you can think of) to try and get your wife "outside the box" but ultimately, that would just push her away from you. If you want something besides what your spouse is willingly, enthusiastically providing, you have to decide if it is worth to seek out someone ELSE to provide. Ultimately, when it comes to sex, you can either appreciate what your spouse has to offer, or leave them behind for the "next best thing"

I'm not saying you cannot ever ask for things, just that you have to respect the answer you get when you do. Respecting the answer doesn't NOT mean repeating the question over and over again in sly little ways either (not that I think you or the OP would do that, but it has been all too common in my experience.)

Anyways, bravo on a very very good post. Your wife is very lucky to have you!

roo and snowy siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2006
Sun, 12-21-2008 - 12:00pm
Welcome to the board, Matt. I think the other posters have given you some great advice and feedback. I hope you'll be able to apply some of it to your situation.

I'm Nenu, co-cl here along with Meme. Let us know how things work for you and your wife!




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CL for Sexual Health






"Life is a drama, and there's only the one performance" - Luna di Rossi





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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 11:15am

Wow, that's great adivce, thanks.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 1:17pm
Oh shucks! Thanks for the compliment but I'm the lucky one!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 1:51pm
Not a problem from my end, Matt. Somehow I doubt anyone will have any difficulty telling us apart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2006
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 2:16pm
ROFL! No problem whatsoever telling you apart, but I'm waiting for more boston------, so we can scrounge up a baseball team. Or whatever, you know what I mean. lol




Photobucket


CL for Sexual Health






"Life is a drama, and there's only the one performance" - Luna di Rossi





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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2008
Mon, 12-22-2008 - 4:13pm

lucky-chucky, very well said. I like you have a wife who is perfectly happy with the way our sex life is now. Sure I would love to try certain things that she has no interest in whatsoever. Nine out of ten times we have sex in the missionary position, but I ask you, when she has multi-orgasms from it, how can you complain?


Our relationship has become so strong in last few months and the sex has never been better. She has tried a couple of things at my request and I appreciate her for it. I would much rather have things the way they are now than be disappointed by what she does not want to try.


She now desires to have sex with me and nothing feels better than being wanted by your mate.


Good luck bostonmatt, I hope things turn out the way you want and you both are happy.

tennisjunkie
tennisjunkie
Avatar for xploziv1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 12-23-2008 - 1:26am
Which one are you again? ;-)

 


 


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