Help! Married a year and the sex is terrible now!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-27-2006
Help! Married a year and the sex is terrible now!!
2
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 10:48pm
Can someone please help! I'm 25 been married for a yr been with my DH for 2 and a half in total and we the sex has become so bad I try and avoid it! At first the sex was spontaneous and fun no problem......married life kicks in and we are having problems everywhere. A typical night with my DH I start initiating sex so to speed things along he drags me on top of him ( which as a first position I'm am not comfortable with and have let him know this. Ps no foreplay) so then he starts complaining that I'm not wet enough so I say well you can't just stick it in and expect it to be wet with no foreplay at all, plus I don't feel aroused when I'm on top first plus can't we do any kissing or anything!! So either he carries on and I get sore and we stop or he gets annoyed complains that it's just because I'm not wet enough and goes to sleep!
I don't know what to do and just dream about sex all the time. I want to feel the passion but he doesn't have the patience anymore to create that. I mean nothing wrong with me it doesn't take ages but unless I feel aroused it doesn't happen very well. We both sometimes say that if one of us is hovering over the other for too long it's uncomfortable on the arms so I suggested perhaps we lay side to side instead but he's not interested in that either!
Please help!!
Thanks
Sarah
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 8:38am
You need to talk to him. Tell him what you need. Tell him that 10 to 15 minutes of foreplay is necessary. Not an option. Foreplay isn't something to endure before getting to the real sex. Foreplay should be wonderful. Take your time. Have fun. Be playful. Massage; maybe a playful spanking; oral sex....everywhere. Power tools also make great additions.

From this guys perspective with my tongue on her clit, there is nothing more satisfying than watching my DW writhing in orgasmic contractions.

Also, keep a lube like Astroglide in the drawer next to your bed. We use it every time.

My motto is Ladies come first.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 01-19-2012 - 7:42am

Ok, so the sex used to be good, what happened? Is he stressed out at work? Is there something else going on at home? Did he recently start any new medications?

It's something that you really need to sit him down and discuss like two adults, outside the bedroom. Tell him that you miss the foreplay and NEED it.



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