Help Needed

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Help Needed
8
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 4:26pm

DW said about a year ago that lubricated condoms were really bothering her.  We switched to unlubricated condoms and lube.  DW LOVES this!!  There's no question she's enjoying sex more than ever.   I won't go into the details but our sex life has taken off big time.  The problem is that at 50 I can't finish.  I never had this problem before.  She's having the greatest experience of our married life and I'm starting to feel very anxious and stressed because I can't finish and I don't know what to do.  Maybe we're using too much lube but she's wild with pleasure and doesn't want to stop.  Any ideas here?  The stress of knowing I probably can't finish when I enter her may be making this worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 3:00pm

Pault, raises a good point about getting a vasectomy.  I did it and enjoy not having to put on a condom, making sure I got some with me when we travel, and delaying sex while getting a condom.  Also, the sooner you have it the better.  You still have to use birth control till after 50 or so ejaculations and you semen samples show no sperm.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
In reply to:
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 2:35pm
Get snipped and get rid of the condoms altogether.

I still use condoms at times because I can last as long as I want to because of the decrease feeling. When I want to cum, off comes the condom. DW doesn't like the condom feeling but there are times that I can only last 2 or 3 minutes without taking steps to stops an approaching orgasm.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 1:26pm

Have you talked to her about trying with a little less lube or trying with the old condoms for a few times.  I know when we use too much lube I don't feel alot.  Coupled with anxiety that could be the problem.  Also is she using her kegal muscles to squeeze your penis?  Or have you tried positions where she puts her legs together or crosses them for a tighter fit?  You can't penetrate as deep but it might help.  Or maybe get to the point of ejaculating manually or orally and then finish inside.  Maybe doing it a few times that way will get you over the anixety.  It might involve a little less pleasure for her in the short run but gains in the long run.  Finaslly has she played with your anus while having intercourse.  That can really stimulate a man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
In reply to:
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 9:52am

Hey Tom,

   Well, it is great that she is feeling pleasure. Does it feel physically different to you? Can you masturbate and finish with no problem? Have you changed anything in regards to foreplay? Not finishing once or twice is not the end of the world. I am a pretty virile man, I probably masturbate 4-5 times a week, and have sex 2-3 times a week. There have been times when I couldn't finish. No big deal, it was a timing thing, I remember once I got a leg cramp RIGHT before I was going to, that ruined it! Ha ha. Alcohol can affect things too. It is not the end of the world, But like Meme said, it might be good to see the doctor.

Avatar for memeu2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-1999
In reply to:
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 4:31pm
1st...why not go get a full check up with your Doc, just to make sure all is as it should be!

2nd...stop worrying! I know its hard but the more you worry the worst it will be on you! just enjoy being together and let the "finshing" come!

I know as a woman, I dont always "come" sometimes its the the 4th of july over NYC other times is just a smiple one, but I enjoy any and all our times together, come or not! Its hard I know!

memeu siggy 4-08