It's a Start

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
It's a Start
4
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 10:07am

Oops! I somehow locked myself out with my old address so now I have new user name. It wasn't you guys trying to black ball me was it? Tee hee. I felt pretty crummy about myself and my marriage after my last note. I spent a few days thinking about it and trying to fit in time to talk to DH about it. There were a few tears and retreating to our own corners but I think we laid the ground work for a biggger discussion. I'm going to see if I can get a family member to babysit for a few hours in the next little bit but not a huge group to select from, ahhh to be one of those women with that special friend or parent who is always offering to take the kids. They never seem to know how lucky they are.
Still no sex. I have no problem asking for what I want but he never seems to follow through so I bought a pack of post it notes and am going to leave a little instruction for him every morning. Maybe I'll make it one of those reward charts you do with the kids to get them to do their chores. Once he does so many, he can have the reward of his choice. Of course I'd be thinking of a sexual reward and and he'll probally pick sleeping in or going out with the guys! how awful is it that I'm constantly leaving him notes, bringing him home treats, setting up casino nights with his friend as a surprise, offering to try something he's always wanted to do and I have to give him a post it note to remember to tell me he loves me or kiss me before he goes to sleep? Classic, the giver HAS to marry a taker!

If you have any post it note ideas I'd love to hear them!
Tanya.

Savedbygrace, what have you been up do that we haven't heard from you in awhile? Or do we need to ask? LOL

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 1:13pm
Alright Tanya, I'm just gonna come out and say it - you're a spaz!
LOL!

I understand why you felt bad, and I think part of it is that you were a little misunderstood. I really didn't think you had any intention of cheating or anything. I'm glad you guys had a talk though. Hopefully the post-it thing might work. Maybe, since you think he might take his "reward" elsewhere, you should give him a list of rewards he could choose from? Like is there anything he's always wanted to do in bed? Do you guys ever discuss fantasies or anything? It could be anything, from anal sex to dressing up like a school girl, strip tease, wahtever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 1:46pm
Joel! A spaz! I'm so offended! LOL. Okay, I have to ask, which part made me a spaz? The admittig I like to get other men's attention orthelocking myself out of the site only a week after forgetting my password to the site? Or actually anything else I've done in my short time here? Don't worry, I aready know that about myself athough I like to think of it as quirky.
I think I'll just let him have his pick of rewards, I learned over and over again that he would much rather that to sex. I've worn a blond wig (I'm auburn), dressed up, brought toys to bed, initiated in (discreet) public places. He just likes it pretty vanilla. He won't even discuss fantasies, he tells me he doesn't have any! Just put on your thinking cap! Although hedidtell me once he likes the whole harem of girls on a desserted island one. How am I supposed to act that one out? Besides the obvious! I'm not sharing!
What's up with this anyway? I've heard dozens of women complaining about thier husbands having lower drives and not really being into it anymore. If we were 18 again and they stayed exactly the same as they are now, would they be into it then? i so wish I could be a man for a day to figure out those preoccupied brains!
Tanya.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 1:59pm

LOL - I just KNEW you were a spaz. The locking yourself out just sealed it!

But, FYI, I meant it in a good fun spaz kind of way.


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 2:24pm
Okay, I'll try it. I can handle fun sex, in fact I prefer it,it just seems like he's laughing AT me cause he doesn't really go on to have sex unless he tells me to take the costume off. And not in a hot and bothered kind of way!
I guess you're right about the talking thing, it's just that it's like pulling teeth and he doesn't like it. I'll keep at it though.
Thanks for all of your patient advice. And the laughs.
Tanya.