Ladies and Gents help me understand

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Ladies and Gents help me understand
16
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:34pm
I do not and cannot understand why men need to look at porn to get off. Or for that matter just look at it. Why? I asked my DH last night because he used to look at it and an old one popped up on the media player. So he says I don't know why men need it we just like to look at it. I just don't get it and there seems to be alot of questions here lately about it. Can anyone here give me a reason why a man needs to look at this? And why as a woman you would look with him? I am not angry I just don't understand...(and she sighs deeply)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:48pm

(sighs deeply after Emily and pours them both another glass of wine)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:53pm

Hi Emily,


DH says that he thinks men are just more visual and enjoy that type of stimulation and we women are more turned on by thoughts and feelings not so much by pictures.


I was one of the people who posted that they did look at it with their DH.

 Michele winter
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:54pm

I looked at porn all the time when my DW had no sex drive. It was behind her back too-because I know she woud not have liked it. But now that she loves sex I don't look any more.

Men have a need for release. If their wife or GF won't take care of that need they will look at porn. However, if the wife/GF is ready, willing and able I think it's inexcusable to look at porn if she doesn't approve of it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 2:58pm

(crying out)


"I HAVE ALL THE RELEASE HE NEEDS" (if not more than he wants, lol)


I guess my fear is that he has to do that to get himself excited to perform with me


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 3:04pm
Have you tried talking with him about what he wants?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 3:14pm

Yuppers!


His answer is "just you honey" and about anything different he responds "we are just fine babe"


????????????????????

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 3:21pm
Well tell him you think things could be even better. Get some specifics from him. I know-men don't always like to open up. But we have to when it comes to our wives.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 3:23pm
Alright - first I don't think my DH looks at porn on the computer, but who knows???? Now if I found out he did, would it bother me???? Most likely not. Why? Well, for the simple fact that I trust him. If he is cruising the computer for porn, perhaps he will find some good tips for us?????LOL Now the other night we were both on our computers, which sit next to each other, and he was looking up some kind of upgrade and some site came up and, of course, it was porn. He laughed and so did I, and then I said "don't click that off - let's see if they are doing anything interesting!" He laughed and we looked! It's no big deal unless it is affecting your sex life. JMHO

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 4:56pm
Well, I think men are taught to look at these things by our society. Just like they are taught to like big boobs and girls that are easy. Is this what they really want? Probably not, but it's hard not to let what you've always been told influence your decision. Some people, notice I don't say men, are visual. Some are not. If my husband was always into it, I'd be hurt and pissed off. But he's not into it at all so it's easy for me to say I wouldn't care. I don't think there is anything wrong with once in a while. It really has nothing to do with his attraction to you. I don't really look at it by myself, but I like a good erotic story, I love myself when he's not around. Doesn't mean I'm not attracted to him or that I want to be out messing around. 'Man' can not live on bread alone! Think of it this way, he's keeping his erotic imagination in good shape, which you end up benefiting from.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 5:57pm
Thank you for that I needed that...he is not only keeping in shape with running and push ups and curls and such but also exercising his sensualness. Good analogy, you are brilliant T!
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