Lets talk sex......

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Lets talk sex......
11
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 9:01am
Lets talk about sex....or not....LOL!

What are some 'everyday' things we say that are "sexy" or about "sex" but NOT...you know what I mean??


Like...I like to lick a ice cream cone then put the

memeblue

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 9:40am
Got one!! Our neighbors, who are very religious and not that there's anything wrong with it - you just have to keep on your toes when talking with them, were over at our house one Sunday. One of our other neighbors gave the man a huge piece of oak wood, he does woodworking. So I casually said to him, "Did you ever do anything with YOUR (instead of that) big piece of wood?" I thought my husband was going to explode. I on the other hand didn't miss a beat and continued to talk about it. I just about killed him after they left and he couldn't stop laughing!

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 10:55am
Ours is also Woody related.
 Michele winter
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2006
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:00am

Oh boy! With my gutter mind I have plenty of examples!

Once when we were in a bookstore, at a time when I was reading a lot of the 19th century English writer Anthony Trollope's books. Couldn't find them anywhere in the store. My husband stopped someone who worked there and asked "Do you have any Trollopes?", the man replied "Yes sir, they are at the back". I of course was laughing hysterically. Husband wouldn't speak to me for an hour, no kidding.

Another one of my favourites is when people are getting ready to go somewhere, and there is usually a slowpoke in the group. Someone will almost always say "Are you coming?" I have to bite my tongue to not reply "No, just breathing heavily!"

Another time I dropped something on the floor, and was going to pick it up, and he went to do it, saying "I'll bend over for you".

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:36am
Maybe it's just me being a perv but having kids around, this seems to happen all the time. My son has come up with some duzzies. I, of course, die laughing. Like the time a bunch of us were rough housing and my oldest yells at me to sit on my husbands face! Or as he's getting obsessed about bodily functions now, told my DH to stick his finger up my butt! I know it only encourages him but how do you not laugh?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 11:48am
LOL. I have a few. Shortly after I first met my DW, we were at a gathering. I was standing around and she came over to me and said, "Stand here with me, good looking." I said to her, "You're making my head swell", to which she replied, "Which one?" Another time she was making some jewelry from clay, in which she would shape it and put it in the oven and after it was hardened she would then paint designs on it. As she was telling her friend about her project, the friend asked her, "How do you get it hard?" DW laughed out loud and said "With your hand or your mouth, unless you have another suggestion." Then there was the time in church when I was reading the scripture and made a Freudian slip. I was reading where it said "Let everything that has BREATH praise the Lord." Well, I said "Let everything that has BREAST praise the Lord." I knew when I said it that I messed up, and I wouldn't look her way because I would have lost it. The only other person who caught that mistake was my nephew, but no one else in the congregation. She said to me afterward, "So everyone that has titties should praise the Lord, huh?" We still get a big laugh from that one.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:29pm
Don't be so STIFF (as in formal).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:33pm
DH was in his regular Friday meeting with 4 other men talking about how their guys could not get their PDA's to sync(sp?). Well, one of the guys said "I have the hardest time getting my little unit to work." Needless to say, all the other men just started laughing and evidently the man who said this little slip - will never live it down!!!LOL

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:36pm
Toooo funny!!! I needed a good laugh today!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:37pm
Please explain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Tue, 01-31-2006 - 1:45pm
Alright!!! And it's only 12:45 where I'm at and my good deed for the day is done!!!! YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!!

 

 

 

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