Lonely what to do??

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Lonely what to do??
8
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 10:27am

Whats going on is....my DH is working alot of very long hours. (12-14) gone by 6am and not home until after 7 and then falling asleep by 8-8:30. I eat dinner alone almost every week night. I know he is working very hard and I try to not get on him, as I know he feels bad about how little he is home as it is. This has been going on for a few months now and doesn't seem like it will ever end. When he took on this other department last May and now has 35 people under him he is always at work. Even every Sunday for 3-4 hours as well......


BUT how do I keep from feeling so lonely at times?? Or feeling lefted out??


I have been trying very hard to get a job, I know being home so much isn't helping....but getting a job isn't easy right now.


It helps to talk about it..thanks for listening to me!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 11:55am
{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I am sorry to hear this. That's a long time to be working such long hours. Is this something that is going to continue forever? Has he tried talking to his superior about getting more help? Why does he have to work so many hours?



imeem1.jpg picture by nhgal2006
I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 12:46pm

Thanks BL...he is working hard with the VP of HR to get rid of some the pains in the backside that should help.


With working for a hospital you have to have things set just right or you could lose your Accreditations and close down. There is major inspection coming up next week...with that over I hope he will common down some. LOL! yea right! LOL!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 2:35pm
Oh, Meme, I really do feel for you!


We went through a similar situation a few months ago. For about four months, DH was working 90-100 hours a week (or more, a couple of times) including a few all-nighters to make the deadline for a customer that had to meet strict government regulations.


Your DH can't go on working those kind of hours indefinitely; it will take a toll on his health and your relationship. The long-term fix is to work out some way with his employer to get his hours down to a more reasonable level. In the meantime, maybe you could take him dinner at his office a couple of nights a week, or meet him for a quick lunch -- just do something to maintain your connection without being demanding of his time.


Also, it's easy to see why you feel left out. His work is of a confidential nature, I presume, and he can't discuss it with you. That's a tough situation, and I'm not sure what to suggest.


Are there volunteer opportunities in your area that could help you pass the time without being a long-term commitment? It would be so much more rewarding for you to do something that gives you a feeling of accomplishment and of helping someone instead of getting discouraged in today's super-tight job market.


Good luck, Meme, and please know I'm thinking of you! Take care.




divine.rapscallion
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Thu, 01-14-2010 - 2:54pm

UGH!!! I know all about that, as I worked in a hospital for over 25 years. I do hope after the inspection next week he's able to slow down some. Like Em said, it will eventually knock him out, so please, once next week is over ask him if there is some way he can lessen the hours. Even if it's just not going in on Sundays to begin with.


I also liked Em's suggestions about taking lunch/dinner to his office. Maybe pack a little picnic and sit outside together for an hour.



imeem1.jpg picture by nhgal2006
I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 01-15-2010 - 9:28am

Thank you both!


Im really hopping that once this inspection is over things will get better for him. This new department he took on has been a messed for a few years now and he is doing his best to "fix" it! LOL! Thats why he is working so long hours. He is so busying fixing things he doesn't have time to do 'his job' as in mangement stuff. so once everyone leaves at 3:30 he stays for a few hours to do his work, paperwork, emails...you get it!


Then after doing all that he hits the gym for a hour. I won't complaine about the gym he needs it to help with the stress of all the other stuff he does. and he feels better about himself as well.


I try to met up with him once a week for lunch but its hard as he never knows if he can leave for lunch. Bringing him dinner wont work as he wants to hit the gym after getting off work.


Things will get better I know it! just feeling lonely and it helped to talk to ya!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-1998
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 4:41pm

I feel for your Meme!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 7:55am

Thank you Beckey,


Your right makes for hard "us" time. I think its hard on me being home alone all day. I need to get out and do something. I was thinking of going up to the school up the street and see about vol a few times a week. aleast I'll get out of the house some! LOL! Being out of work for amost 8 months is getting to me! I need to do something, I need to get out of the house more but I don't want to go "shopping" and spend money......the age old questions what to do! LOL!

memeu siggy 4-08


memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 01-20-2010 - 11:25am
Hey, I just thought of something. Does dh's place of employment have a volunteer department? I believe most do. You can volunteer there. It may just be going around with books/magazines, but it's something to get you out and about.



imeem1.jpg picture by nhgal2006
I used to believe in forever,
but forever was too good to be true.
Winnie the Pooh



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006