marriage question

Avatar for memeu2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-1999
marriage question
3
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 4:08pm

Discussion with a coworker (not married) regarding the topic of "marriage"- she asked me "what are you willing to give up to get what you want"?
WHAT does she mean!!??!?
Is marriage like a diet- gotta give up fried foods & chocolate to lose weight??
I don't get it? Why do I have to give up anything (except being right all the time LOL)?

So what do ya think?? - please weigh in with your expertise! :smileywink:

memeu siggy 4-08

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Fri, 09-28-2012 - 9:10am

I'm guessing that there are things you do while single which aren't appropriate in a relationship. Frequently going out with your friends till the wee hours of the morning and having a good time may be one of them. Flirting like the devil with hot men is probably somewhere on that list. It really depends on the couple. Some spouses may be absolutely against imbibing even if it's just social. If they're married, they prolly had to give up IC.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 3:40pm

I don't know that you "give up" things/activities in so much as you compromise on activities.  Obviously (for most of us) some activities become forbidden after you make the commitment, but other than that, most activities (for us) are agreed on mutually.

 

CH

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2007
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 10:07am

I wonder if she means how you do give up certain things, no matter what the situation......maybe she wants to sleep around. Maybe she likes to walk around naked. Maybe she hates diet soda. So, you compromise when you get into a relationship. It might just be in your head, it might be a discussion you have with a partner in regards to things that are important to you. Or, maybe you find a person where everything fits and you don't have to compromise anything. 

I don't know that it is a conscious decision a lot of the time, but I DO think a lot of people think that way. They think, OK, I want a girls night out, what will I give my DH in return.