Masturbating....with her in sight

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Masturbating....with her in sight
15
Wed, 11-30-2005 - 10:14pm

First let me begin by stating that I am a male, married. I have an issue that many men have. My libido is higher than my wife's. So, like most people, I spend some "quality time" masturbating each week.

For me, masturbation has always been a solitary thing. I had heard of couples masturbating together, but considering my wife says she is not a masturbator, that was not an option. So, like other guys, I just used my imagination - and the occasional magazine - to get me going. But then one night while my wife and I were having sex, I stroked myself a few times, then quickly returned to having sex. Later that evening, I confessed that I always wanted to masturbate while looking at her, considering I did it so many times with images of her in my head.

To my astonishment, she was really cool about it. In fact, she was flattered. She said I could do it any time I wanted. She even said that I could do it on a night when she wasn't "in the mood" for all-out sex. I haven't tried that yet, as I am more bashful when I am not in the midst of having sex, but I would really like to.

My question for the women is......Has your husband ever done this? How do you feel about it? For those who have never tried this, how would you respond if your husband told you that he wanted to masturbate while looking at you? While I would not be surprised if it is uncommon, I would also not be surprised if it is very common.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 2:56am

Has your husband ever done this?
- My fiance has done this about once in front of me but is really shy about it

How do you feel about it?
- I feel fine about it and find it extremely flattering considering he can think of anyone in the world and picks me :D

how would you respond if your husband told you that he wanted to masturbate while looking at you?
- I think I would be a little shy about it but find it super flattering! I would go for it and even try to spice it up for him ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 9:15am

Christmasisbest,

I too am a male - 31 - married. My wife and I have only been married for 4 months. I was a little shocked the first time she asked me to masturbate in front of her. She loves it, and gets turned on when I stoke myself in front of her - even if it is only briefly prior to penetration, etc. I have fully gotten myslef off several times since then in front of her. My wife is very sexual and not shy in the bedroom. I was hesitant and it is still awkward for me, but you might be surpised to find out she is actually turned on by it, not just okay with it.

-ncr

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 9:34am

My question for the women is......Has your husband ever done this? Yes, he has masturbated next to me and I've done it next to him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 10:02am

How funny, I brought this topic up last night before bed! To answer your questions:

1. Has your husband ever done this? Nope, but not from lack of asking him too. I would really like to watch. I made the comment last night "as if you haven't done it in private." He answered "only twice." (for his snip,snip surgery a year ago). I find this hard to believe, but......

2. How do you feel about it? I have no problems with it. I would really enjoy watching my husband - he enjoys watching me! Turn around is fair play, right?

3. How would you respond if your husband told you that he wanted to masturbate while looking at you? Wonderful! Excited! What a compliment!

Newbie32

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2003
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 11:21am

CHristmas,

I'm a guy too. This is not as uncommon as you thing. My wife has no problem with this (actually likes it) and it's not unusual for either or both of us to do it a couple times a week. I actually prefer to masturbate with her in the room and looking at her or touching her than not. We've been together for almost 20 years and it is still great.

Peace,
Scott.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-01-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 12:55pm

My husband does it all the time!!

redcherry1974

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Thu, 12-01-2005 - 1:03pm
I did it all the time when my DW was LL. Now that she's HL I only occasionaly do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 5:35pm

Thanks for all the replies! Keep them coming!

I have to admit that reading the replies was a nice relief. I figured I could find some like-minded people out there, lol.

This new twist to our relationship has some positives and negatives. The MAJOR positive is that she said I can do it whenever I want. Of course, she said that in the midst of sex (a time when she is more open to stuff like that), not during a casual conversation. I note the timing, as her mind is about 1,000 miles away from sex during normal waking hours, and the difference in her mindset during sex and during everyday life is about as different as can be. Of course, my mind never strays too far from the topic. I am not sure how she would resond if, while watching tv one night, I expressed my desire to masturbate.

Another downside is that I have to admit that I am shy when it comes to this. In the middle of sex, I am totally on a sex high, and I have no problem reaching down and stroking away while I look at my beautiful wife. But when I am grounded in reality and life is carrying on like normal, I can't see myself coming out and asking. It just seems so embarrassing. I know that most people masturbate, and she knows that I do it, but the conversation is still scary. It is so much easier to propose an evening of sex than it is to propose masturbation. Just typing it makes me blush, lol!

I guess I wish she would just ask me if I want to. She knows that my libido is much higher than hers, and she knows that I would love to have sex at every opportunity, so I guess I wish she would offer this if some time has gone by without sex. But, like I said, her mind is pretty far from sex when we are not having it, and I don't see her saying, "Honey, I see you had a bad dad, why don't you take a look at my breasts and give yourself some relief."......but that would be nice!

For those that have done this outside of a normal sex session, how does the whole subject get broached?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Fri, 12-02-2005 - 5:48pm
What about if you gently brought it up during cuddling time while you were watching t.v. or a similar time, when you are both relaxed and intimate in a non sexual way. Or you could always use the old "So and So tried this with his wife" Or "I heard this idea..." to get the ball rolling. Would she be open to this on a night when you wanted sex but she didn't as a sort of compromise?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Sat, 12-03-2005 - 2:09am
I love when my husband masterbates in front of me. What I really enjoy is when he and I masterbate together while he is on his knees in front of me, like he is getting ready to enter me. In this position, we are "touching" each other - can feel each other masterbating. It is exciting. When we were first married, I had a hard time doing this in front of him but he was my husband and we had sex - it seemed silly to be able to have sex with him but not touch myself in front of him while having sex. This was part of sex for us and another way to be intimate and turn each other on. Watching him stroke himself and him looking me in the eyes makes me want more. It makes me ready for him.

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