Non-sexy topic, Alzheimer's

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Non-sexy topic, Alzheimer's
6
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 5:18pm

DW and I discussed that in the event either of us got Alzheimer's, the other could 'date' others and have the Alzheimer sufferer live in a home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 7:57am

Not specifically Alzheimer's but we have in the past discussed if one of us was no longer capable of being sexually active, whether or not they were in a care home, the other partner can have a sex partner on the side.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Thu, 02-25-2010 - 10:11pm
Like tish, My Lady and I had this discussion, but not about Alzheimer's, ours was about a sexual relationship in general.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 4:08pm
I asked Master if I went into a home would He date other people and His answer was an emphatic, "NO!" I know that I would not date others while W/we were still married, whether He was mentally incompetent or not. If I was to lose Him in some way I would rather be alone for the rest of my life, because He is the love of my life and no other man could possibly come close to what He means to me. Because of my first marriage and because of my illnesses there have been long periods of time (years, in the case of my first marriage) where I went without sex and I was perfectly fine. I can live without it when I need to. If it's a choice between having Master in my life in whatever capacity and not having sex or not having Master in my life at all but having sex with someone else, there is no need for me to choose. Master is first with me. Always and forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 10:47am

This is a hard subject, that’s for sure.


With us, we had a family member with Alzheimer, and know just what life will be like living with it, having lived it with DH’s grandma.


We talked about it and we both feel the same way…we took vows “for better for worst, in sickness and health”. That means we are 100% commit to each no matter what and will stand by each thru anything.


For us being married is Much Much Much more than ‘sex’ it’s the whole thing, living together, being with each other, loving each other and our kids. If one of us couldn’t have sexual relationship then the other would go without. (there is always masturbation! LOL!)


I look at other couples and see that they made it thur hard times. Like Christopher Reve’s and his wife, she didn’t leave him when he got hurt. She was there for him and cared for him. I also have a very close HS friend whose DH was hurt like Christopher and she stuck it out for almost 10yrs beside him, before he passed away and today she is remarried to a really nice guy. But then she was only 33yrs old when this happen.


A lot of this depends on the ‘age’ thing. I think if I was in my 30s and something like this happen to my DH I would ‘want’ to remarry one day. But Now that I’m closing in on the ‘big’ five O…not as sure about the remarrying thing! LOL!

memeu siggy 4-08


Secrets of Marry Sex

memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 9:11pm
I agree with you about age being an issue with this, Meme. Master is still under 30 right now, so if I was to die tomorrow He would probably want to remarry at some point in the future. But I know that if I was to have to go into a home or was put into a wheelchair or something like that, He would not want to have sex with other people while I was still His wife. Like you and your DH, Master and I are 100% committed to one another, and that means going through the good and the bad times. And O/our marriage is based on much more than just sex.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2007
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 4:37pm

I thank everyone for their perspectives and hope that no one has to face their spouse getting Alzheimer's.