Nude Photo Taken by Former Boyfriend

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Registered: 02-08-2014
Nude Photo Taken by Former Boyfriend
Sat, 02-08-2014 - 2:41pm

A former boyfriend of mine, a photographer, took a nude figure photo of me (actually more than one) after I was married. It was definitely not pornography but in very very good taste, in somewhat dim light, even shadow (my feet were in shadow), neither my face nor its profile was shown. It was published in a book, a small photo, and no details were recognizable, but then he asked if I would allow a large-sized print of the photo to appear somewhere in the lobby of some place, and I said yes. 

Totally by accident my husband happened to see it, studied it closely, even got a copy of it (by photographing the print), and studied it further by way of computer and enlarging parts of the photo, and then pestered me, accused me of being the model, etc. I strongly denied being the model and accused him of paranoia and profound and insane jealousy. Then apparently he forgot all about it and we went on as before.

When we were divorcing several years later, he brought this very photo up again, and I accused him of harboring deep resentments against me and of not talking to me about our problems. Of course, I was lying, but I also think he was a little nuts about that nude photo of me because he a couple of years later wanted to take nude photos of me (at first I refused but later relented, but my husband's photos were like porno ones and not artistic ones), and he kept them and put them on his computer as screen savers and background and slide shows. I never did admit to doing anything wrong, never admitted to flirting or cheating, though I caught him a few times and he openly admitted it.

I will never be married again. I think I do not want such intimacy as this when in marriage the woman is expected to give up all your friends, all flirting, all occasions of sudden physical attractions, etc. Frankly, never once did I accuse my husband of doing anything, although women were incredibly attracted to him he was so handsome and I confess I felt very jealous at times even though I myself often flirt with a will.

My thinking is I shall give up intimacy in order to be myself, independent, erotic, sociable, to keep some parts of my past totally private, to travel alone, and be open to experiences. I do not want to share my secrets, not even with my husband, whom after the photo incident continued to pester me with questions, including intimate ones about my former boyfriends and even dates I went on.