Selfish husband! when is it enough??????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Selfish husband! when is it enough??????
4
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 4:24pm
Hi, I am 53 and my husband is 54. I am post-menopausal and have a hard time with getting aroused at all, it takes alot on his part to get me going!, which he has no problem with at all. I am into passionate lovemaking and need it to get aroused. Sex is better for me and I have less trouble getting aroused if it isn't a nightly ritual!!! Having it all the time makes it into a chore and I am not able to put myself into it. Some nights I just want to relax and watch TV. The problem is that he wants it every night and 2-3 times every night! He says it is always better for him when he has it more then 1 time. Well, once is enough for me, especially if it is every night or every other night! He has no problem with being passionate, he is very passionate actually, but he wants so much more then I feel I am up to and his needs are obviously much greater!!! I do it twice when he wants it but I am not into it after the 1st time. He actually pouts and trys to manipulate me when I reject him, I don't like to do that, I know men hate rejection, but he is very demanding about how much he gets, he will force the issue but never try to force himself on me, he just trys to make me feel bad. He does this even when I am sick with a cold or flu, even if he is sick!!! I try to get him to understand how I feel, being post-menopausal, I have some physical issues with sex also, dryness, pain sometimes and just low libido. He says he understands, but his actions show otherwise! I think he just loves sex and he loves to make me feel good, but he is also very selfish about it! I sometimes think he may feel since he has to work so hard to arouse me and bring me to orgasm, that I should be willing to do it 2-3 times everytime! How can I make him understand me without making him feel rejection. He definetly isn't rejected, I have even told him we have sex much, much more then the average couple, especially for our age, we even have sex more then our married children!!! How do you make a man who loves sex understand he is being too demanding? He is a very stubborn man on this subject!
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 12:25am
Bubboes, is your husband selfish in other matters or is it in just the amount of sex that he wants?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 10:11am

Hi bubboes, welcome to the Secrets of Married Sex message board, we hope you visit often and participate in all the discussions you see here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 4:51pm

When does your husband sleep?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Tue, 11-29-2005 - 5:34pm
Maybe offer him the gift of your body. Just tell him there are times when you'll be into it and times when you won't be into it and if he wants it and you're not going to be into it, tell him he can just have the gift of your body and reassure him that that's what you want too for him. In other words, let him pick his favoriet position and get it over with fast. Not the nicest way to put it, but you know what I mean. I'm 27 and my husband and I have a lot of sex, but there are deffinately times when he wants it and I know I'm not going to be so into it. So I'll let him bend me over the bathroom sink or something. He gets off on being able to be selfish occassionally, and not having to worry about pleading me. I don't know....it works for me. Secretly though, I hope I'm having as much sex as you are when I'm in my 50s!!! Good for you!!!