sex addiction??

Avatar for memeu2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-1999
sex addiction??
5
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 11:18am

Lets talk about sex addiction....


do you believe that someone could be a sex addic?


Do you think sex addiction was really "tiger" or "jessie" problem??


Do you think "Hollywood" had mad sex addiction bigger than it should be?? or a easy way out??


What do you think of sex addiction...is it really out there, can you be one, do you know someone that is one, can they be treated??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
In reply to: memeu2
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 2:01pm

Hmmm, that's a tough one for me. I guess anything is possible. But I do believe that some of these famous people just take what someone is offering them and they don't think of the consequences of when they get caught. They usually always do.


I also will say that I don't think any of that is my business. To me, it's something between the cheater and their spouse/family. There is no reason for them to apologize to me. It hasn't hurt me any.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
In reply to: memeu2
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 3:34pm
I do believe that sex addiction does exist. I had a friend who was a sex addict, but it wasn't the sex per se that she was addicted to, because she never really got any pleasure from it (she never had orgasms is what I mean). It was the intimacy and the closeness to the men that she was looking for, the feeling of being wanted, needed and desired by the men and sex was the one thing that she felt that she could offer. She was a woman who relied completely on her looks and her body. She had no education and no job skills, and was the type who would go into a deep, dark depression if she gained a pound or if she found a grey hair or a wrinkle, because that meant, to her, that no one would want her. In other words, she was pretty messed up and had been since childhood. She did seek treatment for her problems, but it was too late and she died of alcoholism at the age of 36. I'd known her since we were both 15.

Tiger and Jesse, on the other hand, are not psychologically messed up, IMO. I see them simply has two celebrities who did what celebrities do best: mess around on their wives and got caught. And now they are using sex addiction as an excuse. Why did they mess around? Because they could. Celebrities try to put themselves above all the rest of us. They are the ones with the money and the power and the fame, so when they do screw up, it's not a simple, "I'm sorry." Instead, it's "I have a sex addiction. I'm sick." No, the problem was that you couldn't keep it in your pants and you got caught and now you want to blame something else instead of yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2009
In reply to: memeu2
Thu, 04-08-2010 - 8:27pm

i believe it exists because i dealt with it when i was a late-age teenager and well into college. it was with pornography thankfully, but still no less something i wish i could change.

before i go on i believe some people use it as an excuse like its some easy way out. also, i believe, like most behavioral issues or addictions, there are deep seeded unresolved issues. mine was the feeling of acceptance from God, my parents, and my friends. i felt dejected, lonely, unloved and was unable to get control of any part of my life. well porn gave me that control and that feeling of acceptance, of being wanted by someone or something, and it was all for my pleasure no matter who i was or where i came from. and it started just like a drug or alcohol addiction, small and infrequent at first, and building up to all night every night, sometimes without sleeping, non stop consumption of whatever i could get off on. at its worst, i'd say i spent anywhere from 20-30 hours a week on it. i neglected doing social things, doing my homework, sleep, i;d lie to myself about it, etc. the porn made me feel in control and "manly", and i wanted more of it, more hardcore, anything and everything.

now i'm "clean", but there have been times when i go months and months without it, and if i convince myself its okay to do it once, i can't stop for days again. so its something i've chosen not to get involved in, especially in my marriage.

so my question about tiger and jesse is, do they have unsettled issues with their parents, faith, personal issues, etc. just saying you're a sex addict with no insight into the cause of one's pain and depravity of a full and rewarding life is counter productive in my mind, and it shows no growth in their attempts to deal with their issues.

hope this all makes sense

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2007
In reply to: memeu2
Sun, 04-11-2010 - 10:53am

My opinion is that a person cannot be addicted to something that is a biological imperative in the same sense that one can be addicted to a habit-forming substance. Since our bodies naturally crave food and sex and sleep and shelter, we cannot be addicted to those things. We may over-indulge in them, but that is a matter of controlling our cravings, not a matter of craving things that are unhealthy, as is the case with drugs and alcohol. (Also, for the sake of this comment, I want to separate pornography from sex because they are not necessarily the same thing.)


I think people who get all the sex they could possibly want with their spouse are blessed. Those who can't get that simply have higher libidos than their spouse, which is a condition in the range of normal, not a pathological one. Those in the latter category are sometimes unable or unwilling

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2002
In reply to: memeu2
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 10:00am

do you believe that someone could be a sex addict? Yes, sometimes I wonder if I am one or not.

Do you think sex addiction was really "tiger" or "jessie" problem?? Not sure

Do you think "Hollywood" had mad sex addiction bigger than it should be?? or a easy way out?? An easy way out

What do you think of sex addiction...is it really out there, can you be one, do you know someone that is one, can they be treated?? I am working on it....