Sex after baby is born

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
Sex after baby is born
4
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 1:34pm
Just wondering what some of your experiences are....
We are expecting our first child in July. We have a great sex life now and enjoy sex at least 5 times a week. There aren't many limits to our sex life for the two of us but I am concerned about how the baby will change this. It is something that we have discussed and I hope that I heal quickly so I can get back in the saddle quickly. Any advice or your experiences are appreciated.
Thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 2:18pm
depending on how the delivery goes,some women say it hurts the first time after the baby's born-some suggest going slow and have lubrication ready.Our son is 2 1/2.It didn't hurt the first time after baby for me-I had a csection.My problem now is that it's almost impossible to O during intercourse.That's the main thing I've noticed.The only other thing is that it's hard to find any private time.You shouldn't have that problem for a little while though-meaning it's easy to find quiet time when the baby's little but when they are old enough to run around the house and all it's a little harder LOL....good luck and congrats
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 3:14pm

We have a 19 month old, and my DW is 6 months along with #2. We had sex the night before the baby was born, and then it only tookd 3 weeks I think, maybe even two, before we started again. My wife used hypnobirthing, had a vaginal delivery with no drugs, no tearing. I felt zero difference before and after baby.

As far as the sex when the baby is here goes, well different people make different things out of it. Personally, I can't understand when people say they don't have time. The 19 month old sleeps at least 12 hours a day. The time isn't hard to come by. In the early stages, she was up every two hours, so DW was a little tired, but she never succumbed to using that as an excuse, and still desired sex. We had always had sex 95% of the time at night anyway, so now is no different.

I'm not sure if you'll be up for the 5 times a week you do now, but there hasn' tbeen a week that has gone by since the baby was born that we didn't do it at least twice, and usually three times, probably twice on the weekend, once during the week.

It's all in where you put your priorities, and work together to get things done. Maybe we don't have as many of those marathon sessions any more, but it isn't hard to find at least an hour for each other.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 4:03pm
The physical aspect is one thing, but it's the mental aspect that is the great unknown. After the birth of our 2 children, it took my wife several months to feel sexual again. Not that we didn't have intercourse, but it took a while to get back to where we were after the first one. Now, it's 8 months since my second one was born and she still has some issues from time to time. Good Luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2004
Wed, 05-18-2005 - 4:20pm
That's a good point DC. The key is to separate being a mother with being a lover. For us, it was fairly easy, since we were able to switch "modes" pretty much when DD was sleeping. We both keep a clean house, and are always "tidying", so when DD hits the sack, we can too. We never "co-slept" either, it was just a choice we made. We wanted our daughter to be able to get herself to sleep, and since we planned on taking her places, we wanted to make sure she could fall asleep on her own somewhere else too. We were also given what I consider to be one of the best pieces of advice form DW's cousin - don't have a "routine" for sleep time. Just put her down and leave the room, and it was awesome. There's a friend of ours that has this elaborate system that takes over an hour that includes bath, the exact same books, milk, and several other subtleties that their kid has become SO addicted to that you can't even substitute anything.