Sex after having a baby HELP ME!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
Sex after having a baby HELP ME!
8
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 2:35pm
So I'm young got married at 19 and have been married now for two years. I had a baby boy in February of last year so he's almost one. During my pregnacy I had to get a stitch on my cervix to hold the baby in therefore I was uninterested in sex totally throughout the entire pregnacy thats right no sex for nine whole months. I was ok with it though. After the baby came I had to heal and was still uninterested in sex it even became disgusting to think about it with just having the baby and having to get more stitches because I tore and just all the pain. Here I am and the baby is almost one and I'm still not interested in sex at all. I do it for my husband but I have like no libido. I used to be willing to do anything a freak even. I loved sex and always was game to try anything. Never gave a second thought I didn't even have to be asked. Why did things change so much after having the baby and will it always be this way. I'm beginning to think that I'm becoming a totally different person in the bed and we've only been married two years think about the future and how many problems it will cause. Could it be that I'm already bored? Traumatized from the whole birth and healing process? I don't know whats wrong but I've changed in a bad way sexually and my husband is starting to think I'm having an affair. How do you explain going from being a total freak to a total prude? I need help. Has anyone else gone through this or a similar situation and is it solvable?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2006
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:10pm
Welcome to the board, and (((((((hugs!!!))))))

Honestly, not just having a baby but having had to get stitches in your cervix for the pregnancy to come to term? Plus having been torn during the birth, and your child is only one? Dear, you have gone through a great deal, have a little child to look after, and need some time to heal. The fact that you are concerned about your loss of sex drive and interest in it, says to me that you need to let time pass and not stress out about it. Reassure your husband that you're not having an affair, and talk to him, tell him how you feel about all this, and time will heal, I'm sure.

I'm Nenu, co-cl along with Meme, good luck, and I'm sure that others will be along with more helpful words of wisdom than I have.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 3:30pm
Are you breastfeeding?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 4:37pm
Are you using birth control pills, or taking any anti-depressants?
Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 01-02-2009 - 7:32pm

I am an older man. I am sure that this phase in your life will change once you really get over the stitches and the tearing from the birth.


I am sure your libido will return with a vengeance, so stop worrying about it. As some others have stated, your lack of libido could also be caused by medications you are taking or if you are breast feeding your child.


Please be very positive in your thinking. Know that you ARE going to be a sex hound again !!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2009
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 6:35pm

My baby is

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 8:16pm
Your body's been through a lot, especially with having to have your cervix stitched and the additional complications you had to deal with during childbirth. On top of that, caring for an almost 1 year old is a physically demanding and draining job that can leave you feeling "touched out" at the end of the day, and not at all in the mood for yet another person seeking physical affection from you. This is a very temporary phase in your life, though. Give it time and it will get better, and your libido will likely return to normal on its own.


Avatar for xploziv1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 8:34pm

I hate to say it, but I find it completely disheartening that you must have been around a fair few jerks in your time that can't understand that the world doesn't revolve around them.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Sat, 01-03-2009 - 9:30pm

You portray men as being selfish, inconsiderate horndogs who are all about getting laid and don't care what's going on with their partner.

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