SO in love but don't want sex

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2005
SO in love but don't want sex
3
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 3:04am

I just had our second child 4 months ago, and I want things to get back to normal in the bedrom but it just isn't hapening. I really don't know what to do. I love my husband DEARLY, and I still think about sex all the time, but when it comes down to "getting busy" I completely lose interest. It even grosses me out sometimes. My parents took the kids recently so we could have a "date night" and I was so excited to have no interuptions, etc, but as the time grew nearer, I found myself dreading it and then I really didn't enjoy myself. I feel just awful about this. It couldn't still be hormonal cahnges could it? Could it be my birth control? Its the same one I have taken for years and this has never happened. I know its difficult for my husband too. I don't want him to think I don't love him or that I'm not attracted to him or something. I DO love him and I AM attracted to him...whats wrong with me? The more advice the better....


Denise


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 8:00am
It could be a combination of things that's causing your disinterest.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 8:37am
Slow down Babe! You are putting too much pressure on yourself! There is so much going on in your life right now, lack of sleep, lack of alone time, lack of alone couple time, body image, the list goes on and on. My hormones didn't really settle down until youngest was almost 2. I nursed for 21 months and then it took awhile to get things back to normal. Working out or just going for a walk alone to get some fresh air works wonders. And yes your BC could definitely be affecting you. As with any other meds you may be taking. Are the pills your only option? When I quit them years ago it made a huge difference. If they are your only way to go, talk to your doctor, they may be able to give you a lower dose or change brands. Give it time. Concentrate on the cuddling, talking, kissing, spending time together. It will come. And in the meantime, try finding a little time to think about sex with your husband, take extra care when getting ready in the morning, listen to music with a beat you find sexy. Every little bit adds up!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 01-21-2006 - 10:12am
The other ladies are right you are still recovering from all the hormone shock. Take it easy. I went through a period like this and I was also on the pill. I had my second child 10.5 months ago and got my tubes tied and had a rough cycle of periods for about 7 months of that because I was on the pill since high school, I am 32 now. That is a long time for synthetic hormones to be floating around the bloodstream. I went off the pill after having the tubal. I am a completely different person. Mentally physically emotionally and totally different sexually. Sometimes I ask my husband if he thinks I am weird because now I could have sex just about as often as he could...he has the hormones of a jack rabbit. Anyways...Take it slow and is there an alterative to the pill? How about the nuva ring? The patch? The shot? Tubal? Tubal for him?;)Mybe try a different pill. I had to try a different pill in between my kids births as I had no sex drive. It worked and then I ended up not being on it for very long but it did help to change. Talk to your doctor...but also know your body does not bounce right back into normalcy after 8 weeks sometimes it can take months. Hope I helped...and I hope you have some great sex soon!
emily.
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