Some advice from the ladies please

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Some advice from the ladies please
24
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 6:34pm
My wife recently swapped anti-depressants because of the problems it caused with our sex life. Now things are wonderful. Last night, because of the late hour and some company in the next bedroom, I just performed oral sex on her - nothing for me. No problems with that - I just want to please her. My question is this - she enjoyed it immensley (even telling me later how good it was - way out of character for her)- what do you think would happen if I slid a small vibrator into her? Would it shock her (she is very conservative!) or do you think she would just go along with it and enjoy the sensation? I really would like to introduce this to our marriage bed, but I'm hesitant because I do not know how she would respond. Probably the kinkiest thing that has occurred outside of oral is often I slip my finger into her ass (if she seems to be enjoying it - never forced, always respectful). How do you read a woman on something like this that she is too ashamed to openly talk about? Thanks for all of your tips and advice in advance!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 7:35pm
why don't you ask her if you can try it....and then if she doesn't like it you won't do it again.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:28pm
I'm hesitant to even ask. You need to understand that she is ultra-conservative (she will not undress in the room with me, lovemaking must be lights out). We never discuss sex. Oral sex on me is taboo, but she enjoys me going down on her (and I'm glad to do it - I love to please her).
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:31pm

I would not surprise her with that. It only takes one bad/shameful/embarrassing situation to turn some people off things entirely.


I would suggest talking to her first and the more you talk the more comfortable she will get with talking about this stuff.


It's nice to hear about a DH that is so sensitive to his wife's needs and wants. Good for you and good for her!


Welcome to the board!



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MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:42pm
So how about some advice on how to approach her. I want to have a varied sex life, always interesting, never boring, but never ever pushing someone farther than they want to go. I love to explore her body, touching and kissing everywhere. It will always be just the two of us, never a third involved.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 8:49pm

You tell her exactly what you just wrote.


MadsenFallSiggy3.png picture by jenniemadsen1

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 8:01am

hello Scott and welcome to SMS!


Why not try this Talk to her after the lights are out and its dark. While laying in bed tell her what to try.


see I was your wife about 25yrs ago! it was easier to talk in the dark so "he" couldn't see my face! LOL! yeah it sounds funny but after a while it got easier to talk in the light. we had some great talks in the dark!! LOL!


good luck!!

memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2004
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 11:10am

Scott, you say your DW is ultra-conservative yet she will let you often finger her booty. I'm not a sexpert, but that tells me that there may be a wild side ready to come out. I wouldn't describe my DW as ultra-conservative, but she won't let me try any kind of anal play. As the women have already suggested, I would try the talk before "surprising" her.

Good luck.

Denny




Edited 4/27/2005 11:11 am ET ET by dennycrane
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2005
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:07pm

Scott,

I think Denny's hit the nail on the head.

Easy does it. Float the idea, see where it goes.

I definitely agree with the others - surprising her with it is a very bad idea!

Cheers,

Boddies

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:14pm
I agree with the last 2 posts.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2004
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 12:22pm

Hi scott,

I agree w/ the others, don't just whip out the vibe...I wouldn't describe myself as sexually conservative but if my DH produced one all of a sudden I'd be thinking "where the heck did that come from?" and "Did he wash it first?" LOL

After reading your 2nd post, I'm wondering if perhaps you might want to start off working on relaxing some inhibitions she already has now? Like the lights off thing? Maybe you could work up to candlelight, then a lamp left on... Then you are able to do a lot more fun things to spice things up, like sex in the afternoon, or in the shower, or on the dining room table.

Well, just a thought...

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