Steriotypes

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Steriotypes
7
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 2:41pm
How do these sterio types get started? After not being intimate for about a month,my Dh and I got into this cycle. Next thing I know I'm "threatening" counselling. Everything was fine for months before this.We rarely argue but look out when we do! I'm sure selling our home and moving a month ago hasn't helped. Anyways, we've worked it out and all is fine (except we still haven't done it yet!). But I'm the one asking for it and he's telling me he isn't in the mood due to stress, tiredness, lack of time together... well I'm all of those things too but I still wanna get laid! Does it always have to be a big production? There's the sexual release sure, but I still want to connect to him and have some intimacy. Is that too much to ask? Guess I'll be finding a sitter and bringing home roses and something frilly for him to wear if I wanna see any action!LOL. And NO he doesn't wear frilly things before anyone asks.

 

Avatar for gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: tr1720
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 4:31pm
Oh dear, I know a lot of men who would LOVE to be in a relationship with a horny woman like you!!Ask him why he has assumed the role of a "I'm not in the mood" female.


Edited 11/27/2005 10:43 pm ET by gigi_1000
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 8:19pm

Hi gigi 1000!
He's just that kind of guy. He was a virgin by choice when we started dating, he had a lot of chances not to be but he wanted to wait for the right person. And along came me! I felt so lucky and special being that to such a wonderful man. But the same way of thinking drives me nuts sometimes now! I guess what they say is true, what you love most about someone in the beginning will bother you most later! It's a good thing most of the time though, he is a man of very strong morals.
I HATE the word horny, I don't know why though. I don't normally use 4 letter words but in bed I use words a lot of people find vulgar. Yet I can't handle the word horny. Ask Joel, I'm a spaz! I also by the way have a paralizing fear of squirrels but handling pet rats doesn't bother me. I can't explain it. Many have referred to me as a "character", I take that in a good way! The alternative is just disheartening.

Hope you all are having a great turkey day down there!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 8:38pm
This post so totally could have been written by me!! lol Since I've turned 35, 5 years ago, my libido has been in overdrive. We've been married 18 years, together 20, and when I do get some, it's toe-curling awesome and I'm a content camper, but during the dry spells (and they're getting longer and closer together)I'm a snippy, easily irritated shrew! I tend to take it personally when he has no interest, although he assures me it isn't me (whatever!!). I have gotten tired of initiating and being rejected, so I just wait for him to come to me. Like you, sometimes I'd just love a good old fashioned throw-ya-down-screw-your-brains-out session, I don't need all the preliminaries and romance every time!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 9:10pm
Are you calling me a shrew? Really! First I get spaz and now shrew! What is it with you people on this board? It's a good thing I have a healthy sense of self!!!LOL! I know what you mean about the crazy drive. It used to be totally out of control before kids and now that the baby is 2 ... It's BAAA-ACK!!! My poor hubby. Can they come out with a little pill that puts you in sync? I have to wonder if I got a little romance if I wouldn't be so hungry for sex? Maybe I just want the connection. It sure feels like I want the sex though!LOL. I think I'm beginning to get the whole older woman younger man thing! It just makes sense timing wise.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Fri, 11-25-2005 - 10:23pm
Oh my God!!! Thank goodness you didn't really think I meant you!!! lol You had me scared for a minute!! I totally meant that I get to be a miserable shrew when I can't get any action here!! lol Pheww, that was close! And I too really get the older woman, younger man thing now, Hubby is 15 years older than me. It didn't seem like a problem 20 years ago!! But I don't think I could handle being with a younger man who had only experienced young, nubile bodies that haven't yet suffered the ravages of time, babies and breastfeeding! lol Hubby calls the opposing libidos "God's little joke"
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Sat, 11-26-2005 - 8:23am
No, I knew you were talking about you. Sorry to scare you.
My what a wry sense of humour God must have!!! I've often said He/She must really enjoy a good joke. Just look at the world. Maybe we'll come back as men next time around to fully understand this.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
In reply to: tr1720
Mon, 11-28-2005 - 10:15am

Well Tanya, I AM a man, and I still don't understand it! LOL!

Hmmm...let's recap.....if I were in YOUR situation, my DW would want me all the time, yet someohow I would feel that I am too tired or stressed to have sex, so I turn her down all the time.


That would make ME......a frickin' lunatic!!!!


Seriously though - have we talked about whether or not your DH might be depressed somehow, or unhapppy with his job/career? That is usually the #1 suspect, and men tend to be able to hide that very well....