Who the heck am I

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Who the heck am I
16
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:21am

I figured since I started posting so much I might as well offically introduce myself. I am 38 and just about to celebrate my first wedding anniversary. I am Mom to 2 step daughters that I love as if they were my own and one son. DS has severe disabilites(seizures,wheelchair bound, aspiration pnuemonias, multiple operations to correct one deformity or another ect.....)he doesn't have an offical diagnosis or I'd share it. I love to talk and never mind sharing about his condition. He is a handsome, happy kid despite all he's been through. He is 15 and has just started to attend a residental placement so I have a little more time to participate in stuff like this. I also care for my Mom who has emphysema(please don't smoke) and my older brother who is still recovering from a very serious accident he had 18 months ago. I work part time caring for an elderly German woman who I love like she is my own Oma(german for grandma). Notice a trend here? I applied for the job of Florence Nightingale but apparently that position has already been filled. Back to my Oma though, she has taught me tons about aging gracefully. For fun I love sex,talking and laughing with my DH,caring for our family, cooking,reading,travel of any kind but especially to Disney. Our next trip is scheduled for October 06. I just came back from my last on the 30th of September. I love it there because of the way they treat my son. Not special, just like a regular kid looking for a good time.

I met my Dh when we were 11 and 12. We've known each other forever but every time we'd run into each other one of us would be hooked up to someone else. I had a pretty serious on and off relationship for 17 years until my fiance passed away falling down a flight of stairs(if you can even believe people die like that)and my Dh had a fiance who passed away as well. We ran into each other when he and my younger brother started a music studio in a building so dilapitated it took us 6 weeks of night and day rehab just to open it. During this time I started out helping my brother but pretty much ended up coming around to see DH. He was just breaking up with a girl who just wasn't for him and I'd been on a 5 year celibacy oddessey while mourning my fiance. The energy between us could have started fires if we were around tinder dry enough. Finally about 4 weeks into the rehab we tore each others clothes off one night and had soul-breaking sex and we've been together ever since. Together 4 years and married for 1.

I started lurking here because he made me FE one day and I didn't even know what had happened. He suggested I research it on the internet to assure me I wasn't some freak and nothing terrible had happened. I was raised catholic and a little sheltered. My previous fiance hadn't ever really been super attentive to my needs so DH's constant love, support, caring and interest in my sexual enjoyment led to a huge revolution in my own sexuality. I love coming here and reading that you all have some of the same joys and problems as us. It somehow makes me feel more normal. Sorry for the novel but that's me.(I talk fast and type faster so...) Feel free to ask anything, I'm pretty much an open book.

Michele

 Michele winter

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:38am

well hello Michelle! and welcome to SMS! very happy to have you here! please if you can read this post it tells you all about this board and ivillage...


http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlsecretsofm&msg=7566.2&ctx=0


MEME


All sex should be called LovePlay, From the first kiss until the final embrace during after glow. It all part of one big sexual banquet, when you enjoy the banquet the appetizer is just as important and enjoyable as the main course. Michael Castleman.


Co-Leader of:

memeblue

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:45am
Thanks for the welcome and the brush up on your boards TOS. I really enjoy it here.
 Michele winter
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 10:56am

That is quite the odyssey Michele!


We will love having you here!

My mom was a smoker and she had lung cancer, so I'm on that bandwagon with you! She ended up passing away from a heart attack, but it had a huge hand in that.


Well, maybe we'll run into each other at Disneyland! We went there in November, and were at Florida in 2004. We even spent part of our honeymoon at Tokyo Disneyland!



iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 11:08am

Michele, I think I love you already. I love a person who can bare their soul. Forgive my spelling, I am totally incompetent at these things and can't find my spell check on the computer today! LOL! How do you lose something like that? Hold on, my daycare baby is telling me a huge story...okay, I'm back. They're 4 and 4 1/2 and pretty much only need me to guide them through different activities now. Sigh, I think I need another baby around. Daycare, not my own! You are so open, and my God, what a story. Care to tell more about fiance? I think, everybody is put on this earth to specialize in something and you have definately found your niche. Not hard to tell you're a giver! Can't wait to get to know you more, there are some great people here, as you already know!

Oh yeah, I do part time work for an agency in our community that offers respite care for children with disabilities so I know a teeny bit what you are dealing with, a teeny tiny bit!

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 2:32pm

Welcome Michele! What a story and you seem to be an extraordinary person! Great people here - you'll learn to love us!LOL

Welcome again!

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 2:51pm
I may be nieve but what does the abbreviation FE mean?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 2:55pm
Female ejaculation.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 2:56pm
Female Ejaculation and I would have never known either until I started visting here! Also, haven't seen you around here - Welcome to this board! If you have been around - then my welcome is belated!LOL

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 5:27pm
No I am new here . I am a mother of 2 boys and will be married for 9 years on the 26th of january . I started reading things on these boards and I have to try and figure out all the abbreviations. The more I go to the message boards the more I will understand . I am a pretty open person as well. The only man I have ever been with is my husband . I will be 30 in July . I was always a very quiet girl kept to myself . Now I am trying to be open to all new things . Need to spice up my marriage somehow. Well I hope to talk to you soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Thu, 01-19-2006 - 7:13pm

Thank you all for such a warm welcome. I hope I am able to contribute something helpful.

Sure, T, I don't mind talking about losing my fiance now. It used to be impossible at first. It was in 1997, the day after my 30th birthday. we were moving into our first official place together. Sean was his name. He was working in the city the next day really close to our new place so he was going to stay there while my DS and I stayed at my Mom's. Our phone hadn't been hooked up yet and we were nervous to have DS there with his physical issues and no way to reach 911 if we were to need them. We had already moved all our big stuff into the place. It was so beautiful in a neighborhood that was being rejuvinated. The windows were almost floor to ceiling and there was just light everywhere. I was all set to have my very first dining room! Well, Sean kissed me and headed off with the smallest box you ever saw with just his alarm clock, work boots and a coffee mug. The apartment we were moving into had those old winding type of stairs and no one will ever really know why or what happened but he fell from the 3rd floor and landed directly on his head. He had complained about a severe headache the week before so the doctors think he probably had an anyuresm or even perhaps just a dizzy spell and lost his balance. He "lived" another 36 hours but was brain dead from the moment he had hit the floor. Thankfully a friend of ours happened along only moments after the fall. I think I would still struggle if someone hadn't been with him quickly.

Next thing I know his sister is calling me and asking me if her brother "took anything" that night because he had been found unconscious and bleeding in the foyer of our new place. Just a small clue to how well she didn't know him. He hated drugs so much that I couldn't even make sense of what she meant. I finally figured out she was thinking he had OD'd on something. She told me not to worry he was in surgery and everything would be just fine by the morning. Something in my heart though could just tell that he was no longer with me on this earth. I can't explain it but I just felt his absence so I ignored her advice and went to the hospital. Because most of my DS's issues are nuerological in nature I knew the lingo the nurses were using and I knew it basically meant he was brain dead. His sister initally refused to accept this so she didn't want to disconnect his life supports. Ironically enough, and I thank god for this every day, we had talked about life support about a week or two before the accident. We were watching a story on Dateline about how a set of parents wouldn't let a woman be disconnected from her tubes because her SO was only her boyfriend not her husband. Thier case really mirrored ours, they'd been together forever but never married. So I don't know what made me ask him but I did. He was firm and said "Hell no, don't EVER let me linger like that. If my body wont work and my brain wont work just let me go" I told the nurse in charge of his care about his wishes but because I was only the SO not the wife, it didn't matter. By afternoon when his situation became more apparent his sister finally listened to my pleading that we do what he would have wished. She almost wouldn't let me in the room during the final minutes. She didn't have the courage to be in there and she almost prevented me from being allowed to hold him in those last minutes. Her husband and family priest encouraged her that nothing would be gained by that so she relented. So needless to say I am pretty passionate about civil unions and the rights they provide to others who are in that situation. This woman saw my beloved maybe 3 times a year. I was with this man every day and night for years. Sorry if that's TMI. I told you I'm open and I'll answer anything. Any other questions T?

 Michele winter

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