Why is it slowing down??? I'm not Superman any more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010
Why is it slowing down??? I'm not Superman any more?
5
Tue, 12-20-2011 - 9:20pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2010

thanks to everyone who replies!:smileyvery-happy:

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006

Hi and welcome. First of all, it's not you. I think before you even consider walking down the aisle, you have to sit her down and talk about this outside the bedroom. When was the last time she's had a complete physical with her GYN. Pain during sex is not normal, and could be the sign of a problem.

Is she on any new medications? A lot of stress in her life?



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007

Some people experience a boost in their libido during the initial phase of their relationship, and then it subsides.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2011
It does sound like maybe she does get sore now for some reason, and prior she did not.

I know when the wife and I were a lot younger when we would go at it a lot in a few days, she would get sore, get infections. So it maybe something with her just getting older.

I also think you are setting yourself up for unreal expectations of your future sex life with her. We all know that when the relationship is new and exciting that this is when sex is the best, and from the sounds of your post, it is hard for the chart to go anywhere but down.

I don't want to generalize, but I think a lot of women, not all do this as a way of securing their future husband. It's amazing what happens from dating, to engaged, to married, to married with kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2012
I do not agree women do this "to secure a future" with a husband (rolling my eyes). It's very normal for that initial fire to cool down. If you truly expect that your future wife will have sex on her mind 24/7, I have 2 suggestions. 1) talk to her about your expectations and be prepared to listen without judgement. 2) be prepared to (if you have kids) hire round-the-clock nannies, a personal chef, a maid, possibly a personal trainer as well. Diamonds won't hurt either.

Good luck......check out the mismatched libidos board to see what happens when people go into marriage expecting things from their spouses that don't match reality (for good and bad)