Wifey doesn't enjoy sex anymore

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anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
Wifey doesn't enjoy sex anymore
8
Tue, 06-19-2012 - 7:19pm
Hi all, I'm a young man who appears to have lost all my mojo. My wife and I are only mid-twenties and we got married last year, shortly before having our 2nd baby. Since then we've barely touched each other. There have been the odd crazy night out drinking etc but few and far between. She uses the kids as a reason, but we always used to drink and have fun at home, now she reserves that for when she's out with friends. Whenever we do get close, it's as a result of my pushing for it etc, when it used to be mutual. Now I just feel like I'm inconveniencing her, and it's all for my benefit. I'm not a terrible looking bloke, I have my flaws, but overall I wouldn't say I was the avoiding type. It's not that she's totally lost interest in blokes, as she was having some flirty texts (and god knows what else) with a guy from work which I found out about. Any ideas how I can reignite her love of naughty cuddles? With me preferably! Cheers in advance
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2012
Sun, 10-14-2012 - 7:48am
You are going to hate me for saying this, but here it goes... your wife is probably having an affair. Yeah, I said it. You are a textbook example of someone who is on that receiving end of infidelity.

I just read in your post EXACTLY what happened in MY VERY OWN MARRIAGE, but I was like you... foolishly giving her the benefit and believing her better than Clinton lies. I did not find out about the affairs until well AFTER I left her and our 18 year toxic abusive sexless marriage that she was cheating all along... with men AND women - like so many wives/women do nowadays (as do men conversely). Your marriage needs Critical Care before it reaches Critical Mass - if it has not already. Ignoring it will only make things decidedly (or undecidedly) worse in the long run.

You have several decisions awaiting you... you can have her tailed/investigated... you can have a serious heart to heart talk... you can go to counseling... or you can just pay no attention to that man behind the curtain - which could possibly be your very own bedroom curtain, if you catch my drift. Hmmm. take the red pill or the blue pill? There is no purple pill available for you in this situation, sadly. Do NOT try and 'spice' things up before you ascertain her faithfulness. Also, if there is no hope for the two of you cohesively making your marriage work, document all you can secretly, get out fast and make sure you have all your legal ducks in a row as it won't be pretty - if they lie now, just wait til court. Do NOT stay together for your kids' sake - it will not work for their sake - it will make things far worse than you can imagine... trust me.

Then, you have to decide if she is being unfaithful, which bi all probabilities she is, where do you go from there? Divorce? Therapy? Vow renewals? Open marriage? Cuckold relationship? Note that I left out murder and suicide as those are not viable options. Your marriage is at DefCon 1 - let alone your sex life. In the meantime, buy a Fleshlight. Dude, this is very serious... trust me. Good luck and God bless.

PS - if you want links or advice, PM me. I do not envy what you are about embark on... I hope you are a praying man you're going to need it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 11:56am

Howdy Carters007. Just had to say you rock! Agree with you 100%

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2009
Fri, 10-05-2012 - 11:54am

I would have to agree with the others here. You need to have a serious and frank discussion of how she feels about the relationship and what her expectations are. I do think you are taking the right approach at getting fit. Don't overdo it though. Women like guys that are cut nicely not bodybuilders. If you have women folk that are friends, ask them what you can do to make yourself look better as far as dress, hair and grooming goes. When she notices other women notice you and you casually mention women saying this or that and checking you out, it will have the desired effect. Don't let your DW's texts ruffle your feathers or say anything about them, but keep an eye on them. Does she talk about some fellow a lot? This would prolly be the fellow she is interested in if that's the case.  Counseling can be a very good thing as long as she is willing to work on the relationship. If it's all about you it or she's unwilling, counseling won't work regardless of how good anyone's intentions are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2012
Re: Wifey doesn't enjoy sex anymore
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 1:33am
she is a freak and she need you just to put your cock in her vagina don't ask just do it she wil like it
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2012
Re: Wifey doesn't enjoy sex anymore
Tue, 08-07-2012 - 10:57pm
Look up the most traumatic events in a person's life. She is a poster child of it. They are having a child, getting married, changing a job and one I would like to add, having an affair. An affair can be physical or mental. Sounds to me she is having an affair. You would have to find out if it is only mental. She should stop the flirting, but if you confront her, she will "stop" as far as you know, meaning it may go further underground.
I agree, show her more affection and attention. If she's the only one taking care of the house and kids, get off your duff and help. It's not fair to her to make her take care of all of it and work. Even if she refuses your help, do it anyway. She will appreciate it. Compliment her, make her know how you feel.
If this doesn't work you should seek couples counseling. You going there alone probably won't work. Might make you feel better, but won't help the marriage.
Best of luck to you!