Young marriage (if u did it do you regret it?)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Young marriage (if u did it do you regret it?)
42
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 1:20am

I have an amazing relationship with my boyfriend of one year.. We're both in our earlier twenties. I'm 20 and he's 23. We both want to marry each other because we click so well. I'm just curious to see what marriage is like. I don't know when we'll get married. There's a lot of things that I consider when thinking about marriage, 1. I'm still in college (about to finish my sophomore year) 2. I have plans to attend optometry school.

HERE'S THE THING: I love our relationship so much and look forward to marriage. BUT I just don't want our feelings to change for each other. Like to just get tired of seeing each others faces and taking each other for granted. AND I don't believe in divorce but yet so many people are getting divorced it scares me. I'm also worried about if it will affect my schooling.

YET I still can't stop thinking about marriage and wondering what it's like!! I don't know what I want (I admit it) lol...

What is it like to be young and married and if you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 9:15am

Hi there. Personally, I would wait until you were done or almost done with school. If you're having doubts about it, then you don't get married.

No one can really anser this as it all depends on the two people involved. If you are both committed to each other and the relationship then things should be fine. Like any relationship, marriage takes work. If you're afraid it will get boring, then do things so it doesn't.



28999825.jpg picture by nhgal2006

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2011
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 9:25am
I can talk from experience, I got married at 22 and now am 42 and honestly regret it. I think now I realize there are so many things I could have done that I missed out. Plus in my case as we got older I came to admit to myself her and I do not match up sexually which is a huge part of marriage and even though I refuse to let it be something that causes problems in my marriage, it still adds to my loneliness at times in my life. Personally I would say to wait a few years and enjoy life and have fun while you still can.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2007
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 10:19am

I got married to my college sweet heart and it ended disastrously in divorce after two years.

Avatar for memeu2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-1999
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 11:09am

Well we got married at 19yrs and today we are both 50 and Im Still madly in love with him and him with me! I can't wait for him to come home so I can see him, be with him! He always says the best part of his day is walking in the door and seeing me, makes his day better. I feel the same, as soon as he walks in the door.

BUT the thing is this is US not YOU, each of us are different. If your questioning things now, dont take that next step yet. If you really are in love and are ment to be together it will happen in 3 yrs when your done with school.

Also my DH and I are amoug a small group of people that get married that young and stay together for 30 plus yrs! In my High School class there were 10 of us that got married the year after graduation, there are 5 of us still together at our 25th reunion.

Also you and he

memeu siggy 4-08

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 3:37pm

Is almost 24 and almost 22 young?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 4:05pm

To those of you who had negative experience with young marriage. What was the biggest problem.. what were your views on divorce prior to marriage? And congrats to you all who have stayed in marriage, I think it's a great thing and really admire people who are married that long.

Mike- I think twenty is still young LOL... I'm going to be twenty one this year in October..

Avatar for memeu2
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-1999
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 5:34pm
How FB accounts will need to be deleted for the sake of our future marriage,

why?? both me and my DH have facebook, and we are each other's friend. I have found so many high school friends and with us both being military brats its wonderful to find people we knew back when.

FB will only become a problem if you let it or you do something you know the other will not like.

memeu siggy 4-08

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2011
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 2:20pm

I agree with Meme...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2011
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 7:05pm
hi, this is lengthy but hear me out~i am 29 yrs old. I got married to my highschool sweetheart at age 22. He was 23. We dated a total of 6 yrs prior. Alot of the reason we married was because i got pregnant. We were married almost 2 yrs before our divorce. Things got hectic! He was so busy wrking full time and getting his bachelors dgr and i was raging in hormones, had to quit college, and we both had never lived together b4, or with any1 outside the family 4 that matter. we stayed divorced for 4 yrs. As of now, we have been remarried for 2 mths and were both very happy! we learned alot during those 4 yrs and I have faith we will last! My advice to u is to wait a lil longer while continuing to grow together. enjoy the excitement of your relationship and focus on finishing school. I wish i cud have at your age. marriage shud last forever~enjoy what u do have now!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2008
Fri, 04-01-2011 - 10:55pm
My husband and I got married young (14 years ago) after knowing each other only 5 months. I would really suggest not doing it. Commit to each other, live together, have alot of discussions to make sure you are on the same page in regards to work, family, raising kids, money, etc. Marriage is work. We love each other but we also realistically know that if we were smart we would have continued to just date and probably wouldn't have gotten married.

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