Confused Or Something Else?

Human sexuality can be a great mystery. We can find ourselves greatly interested in what others would call taboo, such as incest, though we would never do that particular activity in real life. I imagine that a part of us would like to participate, but the incest taboo has been instilled in us for so long that we would never really do it.

I myself have a lot of fantasies that would truly repel a lot of people here on the board if I was to voice them. Many of them are dark, dangerous, downright twisted, involving topics that people don't want to discuss. But they are mine; they are a part of me. I do own up to them and I'm not ashamed of them. We all have a shadow side, where the most taboo of things resides. But it's what makes us human. I don't discuss them with others, because frankly my fantasies are my own and no one else's business.

The fact that I live what some others consider a taboo lifestyle also helps me accept my fantasies. I live the BDSM lifestyle and am the collared submissive of my Master. Many people can't understand the lifestyle and the needs and desires the people who live it have, and sometimes I can't explain nor understand myself why I have these needs and desires. But I've long since stopped questioning that and just accept myself for the way I am. I'm a sub and a sexual masochist, a pain slut who adores the whip my Master yields upon me. It's what and who I am. I own up to it and am not ashamed of it. I've been this way since before puberty. And I am not going to change.

If you truly want to understand your desires and fantasies, there are professionals out there who can help. There are lots of books on the psychology of human sexuality. But honestly I would just learn to accept those needs and desires and not worry about the whys and just enjoy them as fantasies.