dh saw a prostitute (before he met me)
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| Fri, 06-16-2006 - 1:10am |
I'm really hoping that someone on this board may help me to feel better about this.
I found out that my dh saw a prostitute on at least 3 separate occasions in the year he was single before he met me. I'm really upset about it and feel sickened by this. I feel like I can't trust him anymore. He's very open and honest with me but he waited THREE YEARS to tell me this huge news! he said he was very lonely and would get obsessed with having sex but wouldn't want to lead a girl on when he wasn't wanting a relationship. He tells me that he most prefers having sex with someone he loves and he's very loving and faithful to me. I really don't want my negative feelings over this bombshell news ruin what is a good relationship. I'm worried that he felt comfortable enough to approach a strange women like this and offer her money for sex. It just seems so seedy.

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Maggie has once again taken my exact thoughts and put them down more eloquently then I could ever hope to. She is so right on this one. Everyone has their own comfort level with concepts...some can't even imagine their SO's having loving sex with previous lovers without getting upset. As pointed out here...this is really no different than a lonely person having a one night stand to alleviate a feeling of loneliness. Many of us are guilty of that, but frankly that may be worse than turning it into a consensual transaction...nobody is hurt in that case. Every single one of us has our flaws or moments that we may have done something that another may percieve as wrong. To pick something from the past and dwell on it will only serve to hurt you and your relationship, especially something that quite honestly sounds 'noble' as Maggie stated. Dwell on the fact that you have a man that cherishes you and respects women...these are not easy to find, and if you lose him because of this...you may regret that for a lifetime.
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