Did I cheat?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
Did I cheat?
52
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 9:49am

Last Friday I had a massage. I have been getting massages for years and I have been going to this one therapist for a few years and everything has been normal up to now.

I had flipped on my back as usual so she could do my front. My mind was wandering and I started thinking about my long time fantasy of seeing my wife with another man. Before I could pull my mind away and start thinking somthing like "baseball, taxes, etc etc. " I had a huge hard on! April noticed and chuckled, she said "that is a first for you!"

I was so embarrased! She kind of bit her lip, looked away then turned back and lifted my sheet away and I was very hard and standing straight up!

She said somthing like " well let's take care of this" and put some massage oil in her hands and started stroking me, it actually took a little while (it seemed)and I came very hard and she said " that was nice", cleaned me up, covered me back up and continued on with the massage! We kind of joked about it and she gave me a little hug after I got dressed and went home.

I have not said anything to my wife, I am wondering what to do. We had very good sex that night, I could not keep from thinking about that visual of April stroking me and her look of concentration as I came!

It was great, I kind of hope it does not happen again, but kind of hope it does. I feel kind of guilty!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 10:10am

IMHO - it is cheating. It's not something you were looking for but also not something you stopped.

I have several massages and the understanding up front is if I get excited they leave the room to allow me to cool off. I have never gotten a hard on before during a massage - I would think that by giving you a hand job that this is something she does and offers on a regular basis. You had never asked so she never took it to that level - but know that you know I would expect that it would become a regular part of your massage with her.

It's up to you and how your relationship is with your DW is you tell or not. I know it would devestate my DW allowing somone to do that to me without stopping them. If you thinking of going back and getting another special treatment then again in my opinion your looking for sexual sastifatction outside our relastionship. Now if your DW is open to the idea and would be comfortable with it then that is another story.

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 10:45am
i agree,


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2006
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 10:51am
LM said what I would tell you (Great minds think alike!).
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2005
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 10:58am
Absolutely.

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:38am

yes you cheated and you should feel guilty.

Self control go out the window?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:44am
within the context of YOUR marriage and YOUR wife do you think you cheated? Basic precept I have is if I cum at the hands or any other physical contact with someone besides my SO, I cheated on her. I think that is a universal rule unless there is an understanding ahead of time that this is ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2006
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:54am

Hi Lucky,

I appreciate your response and agree with you. I don't see myself returning to "April". I never thought she might offer that service and I never even had one lusty thought about her over the past few years, she is rather plain and not my type.

I never thought about having an understanding with an RMT prior as it has never even been a problem. I am almost a little worried about even getting another massage period.

I may have to find an old blind Japanese man like the Daimyo's had in James's Clavelle's book, SHOGUN.

My wife and I tell each other everything, I probably will not start keeping secrets now. The longer I wait the worse it will be!

Redirector

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2004
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 11:58am
No, it was not cheating. You did not seek the HJ and more importantly did not enter her to complete. That is what that that organ was made to do as often as possible. You a man. It was an external act. She is a therapist and simply worked out the stiffness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 12:02pm
LMAO!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
In reply to: redirector70
Mon, 04-03-2006 - 12:26pm
good luck with that!

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