Did you have trouble?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Did you have trouble?
9
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 3:16pm

Okay, this may be an odd question, but throughout the history of your sex life, has there ever been a position or act that you had trouble performing, but were determined to get it down anyway? Feel free to share what aspects (positions, ect.) gave you trouble and how you & your SO finally felt when you mastered it.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2004
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 3:54pm

Hi,

Well I've been with my SO for 4 years, and for about 2 1/2 of them he was dying to do me anally but I always had trouble with it. I was very detirmined that I'd finally "master" it though! Finally after lots of working in, and books, and advice, and experimenting with different positions, I was able to do it with no trouble, and after that I started to find it extremely pleasurable. I still have trouble with him starting out doggie style, I think its just the angle and his size that doesn't work for me until I've already been riding him on top for a while. With my BF though, he can start out doggie style with me with no problem whatsoever.

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:25pm

I totally identify with you and the anal difficulties in the beginning. My husband is a well-endowed guy, so it just seems like no matter how gentle he is with anal, it still hurts a little. We've read lots of books (reading one now actually) and have acquired all kinds of advice that have tremendously helped. The positioning is very important as well, sometimes that can make all the difference as to whether it's pleasurable or not.

The thing I had trouble with when I first started having sex was with riding. I could never seem to get the rhythm right, and I was self-conscious about my breast bouncing up and down (silly I know). I thought they were too large and would be a distraction for him--but he says that's one of his favorite things is to view my breasts, or stimulate my nipples while I'm bouncing up and down on him. The problem with the woman-on-top position came in with the stamina (hurts the thighs), and the misconceptions on porno movies. My husband had seen a couple before we became active and decided that the way they did it was the way it was supposed to be done.

I found out however, after reading many books by sex therapists, and talking to friends that the way it's done in pornos is very overexaggerated and it's mostly shot the way it is to get "money shots" of the actors' genitalia meeting...this is the same with most positions that you see performed--In one of the books I read, a male porn star was interviewed about how good sex felt during the actual shooting of the movies, and he stated that it didn't feel as good as it looked, because the genitalia of the actors is always separated from each other during several shots to get maximum exposure--he went on to say that IRL, the closer your body and genitalia is to the person during penetration, the better it feels and it really doesn't leave much space to view the sex organs when they're connected as seen in the porn movies. I told my husband that either he liked the way I did it (which I didn't think was half-bad) or he can do without that particular position, lol. Bad I know, but this is why I don't think men should watch pornography and then come to the conclusion that this is the way sex should be done because it's not always an accurate representation.

Needless to say he is very happy with my forward and backward cowgirl. Also, now that I've gained confidence in doing this over the years, I enjoy it so much better and now dub it as one of my favorite positions.

Chakra




Edited 8/24/2006 6:07 pm ET by ayurchakra
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 5:38pm
I recall the first time I encountered WOT IRL and I was a tad confused on the forward and backward grind, that is until she came in just a few minutes...then it dawned on me why that worked so well that way. The porn version cannot hold a candle to the practical method. And I would so rather be losing chest hairs then having a porn exhibition on top of me!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 6:04pm

I agree talbed. lol@ the losing chest hair comment. Well that's certainly a good way to describe the spine-tingling pleasure involved.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 8:28pm

I have some sort of jaw problem, the name of which I can't pronounce, which makes it really uncomfortable to give head. I haven't been able to do it in years, actually. But this week I was really horny and I alternated using my mouth and hand and finally made my boyfriend come. It completely took him by surprise, and I was quite proud of myself.

~Lilith

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Lilithwitch:
Overworked and undercaffeinated law student
Fur-mom to Sebastian

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:45am

Congratulations on being innovative and finding new ways to please your man. From my own experience and stories I've heard from other women, men love to receive BJ's with an alternating hand and mouth combination. I wonder do you have the condition called Temporo-Mandibular Joint or (TMJ). I know some people with this disorder and it causes them quite a bit of pain and discomfort when doing normal activites such chewing, talking and sucking (straws and popcicles of course *smiles*) If this is your issue, then I feel for you, but from what I understand, it can be managed pretty well with certain facial muscle exercises. However, whatever the problem is, it doesn't seem to be getting in your way at all. Thanks for sharing. You gave me an idea because I haven't really done the "combo" during oral sex in a while. Looking forward to this weekend now.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 10:56am
I had trouble once trying to balance my gf with her bee-hind hanging off the ledge on the wall back of the tub, and wound up on the floor wrapped in the shower curtain. But I went and bought a bathtub mat, and that took care of that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Fri, 08-25-2006 - 11:44am

Those tub mats are lifesavers when it comes to sex in the shower! Nothing can make your mood flounder more than slipping, or hurting yourself some kind of way while attempting to make love in your tub (that rhymes...hmmm)--however if you're like us and you've ever slipped, then you carry on with the session against or on the bathroom sink.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 9:40am

Woman on top was the position I had the toughest time with.