Don't know if you guys can help me.
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Don't know if you guys can help me.
| Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:44am |
Okay so my BF has given me permission previously, say three months ago or so, to be with a woman while we were together. He said he wanted me to expirement and said he would totally okay with it. Well Saturday night it happened, it wasn't planned, just my best friend and I had been drinking a little and things happened. So I told my BF as soon as I had the chance, and he said he was a little confused or whatever but that he was okay. He did not consider it cheating, and told me not to let him stop it from happening again. Said he was glad I had the chance to explore. Then today he tells me that I cheated on him and it was a horrible thing to do and I was a horrible person for doing it. And for waiting three days to tell him. Well he works nights, and I was unable to reach him until three days later, and I told him the minute I could. Did I screw up by thinking that since he'd said it was okay, it was actually okay? Am I wrong in thinking that he is over reacting a little bit. He told me before that it wouldn't be cheating unless I was with another man, which I have no desire to do. So I am confused as to why he is so pissed at me. If he doesn't consider it cheating, then why did he tell me I cheated on him? I have apologized repeatedly that I didn't have the chance to stop and call him and ask his permission first, but he says that is just arguing symantics and he didn't want to do that.
We have been together a year and a half, and I don't want to mess it up, but I am so confused by his reaction. Any ideas?
We have been together a year and a half, and I don't want to mess it up, but I am so confused by his reaction. Any ideas?

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Hugs, laylam.
He's being a jerk about it. Always playing the victim. Now he gets to tell his friends how horrible I was for cheating. Even though I don't think I did. I know he will leave out the part where he told me it would be okay.
In reality it sounds like you couldn't trust what he was telling you.
I'm sure you're hurting now, but IMO in the long run this break up is probably best for you.
Edited 5/19/2006 2:44 pm ET by joiseyonceagain
I would have to say it is probably b/c he was not there ,nor had knowledge that it was going to happen. Hubby and I have sex with others, but both have to agree, and both have to be there, or it is cheating. Could it be what he was wanting more than you being with another woman, was him being with two women. A lot of guys want that...but they only want it if they are with both women, not their woman going out on her own. One tip I would give everyone about any sexual experince...don't do it while drinking..always have a clear head, always know that what ever happens, nothing influnced it more than your desires and wants.
kinkybigirl
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