Good News/Bad News

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Good News/Bad News
17
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 3:32pm

Ok good news: I got some action last night with a guy who works next to me. And it was good until later on...

Bad News: he forced me to do anal even though I begged and pleaded and finally just shouted no but he held me down and I couldn't get away. He told me I was "ruining the mood" but the sort of upside was that after i got used to the pain and such it started to feel good. However he made me lose control of my bowels (sorry TMI) and I was NOT HAPPY about that... He spanked me which was good...then he started slapping my face which was bad.

Why do guys feel compelled to anally rape me? Is it because of the size of my bum or something? I didn't want to do anal and I said no and he did it anyway but it started to feel good. Now i'm feeling constipated and it sucks. He ruined my backseat but I cleaned it up. But I'm having nightmares about this and right now I can't even stand the talk of sex. He made me feel dirty in a bad way. It makes me want to join a nunnery (but that's extreme and unlikely to happen lol).

It makes me just want to wait until a relationship comes around but my problem is is that I can't seek them out. I can meet guys..I could accept their offer of sex but no words of dating or anything comes out (before the sex, I know not to expect it AFTER) but I guess I'm not dating material and I feel like I'm in my sexual prime. I'm always horny and have a high libido. Not to mention the whole fiasco of my ex (my first and only b/f) my parents just won't let me date anymore lol..

just thought I'd share my predictament.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 3:48pm
IMO that is only bad news. If this guy raped you something should be done about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 3:54pm
Penguinite...All I can say is I'm sorry this happened to you. As a guy this makes my stomach turn and just want to...well I will stop.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 3:56pm

LL,

Shall we track down this guy and make him pay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 4:01pm

Oh man!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 4:06pm
First of all let me say I'm sorry for what this animal did to you. No matter what, when a woman says no it means no. Please accept this in the sprirt it is intended but you really have to try and meet a nicer class of guys. Where do you find these losers? I know it can be hard to find the right partner for a relationship but it sounds like you are putting yourself in danger for short term sexual relationships. Please try and be a little more careful and don't put yourself in dangerous situations because you don't think you are relationship worthy. Again I'm truly sorry for your pain.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 4:34pm
I agree with Nova completely.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 5:02pm
I am glad you call it rape, because that's what it is.


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2005
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 6:00pm

thanks all... I don't want to report anything because it started out consensual..good luck proving it turned to rape when i said no but still allowed him to continue even though i wasn't threatened or harmed. Plus my parents would know and all is lost lol...

I want to consider stopping the whoring (is that a tos word?) myself out when i can't even get what I want out of it. I seem to be just a vessel that's just one step up from masturbation and I really hate that feeling. I had no problems before because I got out of the house, I was getting something I wanted, I was having sex with guys I wanted to have sex with but this last one hit a nerve with me and I can't seem to shake it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 6:33pm

Men have gone to jail for less than this!

He abused and raped you dear. Slapping you and forcing you? Absolutely unacceptable!!!!! You need to tell him that if he even THINKS about pulling this again? You are immediately calling 911 and pressing charges.

What he did was non consensual. The reason these men are not respecting you is because you are allowing this. Raise your expectations and insist men treat you better. Stay strong.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 06-19-2006 - 6:39pm
Only you can decide to stop selling yourself short. You have to respect yourself before others will respect you. I hope you are at least using protection and protecting yourself. I am very sorry this happened to you.

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