A guy's first time

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
A guy's first time
17
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 8:37am
One of the two girls I live with has a cute cousin who just turned 18 and has never had sex with a girl. I've met him a few times and he's very shy, but he's a straight A student and he's really nice. Anyway my girlfriend wants to set him up for his first experience. I'm bi but I agreed to be his first. My gf says he's likes me a lot but I haven't seen him in a while and I'm four months pregnant so he hasn't seen me since I started to show. He knows I'm pregnant but he doesn't know that I've agreed to have sex with him. He's coming over Friday night for a little party and I'd like to make it special for him but I'm kind of nervous about it.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:21pm

Hi, jengurl.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:43pm

I would also suggest making him comfortable and let him know everything is ok. My first time was with a more experinced girl and I came just from her putting on the condom. She let me know it was ok, pulled it off, cleaned me off with a hand towel then continued to play with me until I was hard again. She put another condom on and then I was able to really enjoy my first time.

Hope it helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 12:55pm

In his mind, is he just coming to a party, or does he know something about the purpose

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 2:38pm

Yeah, I was kind of wondering the same thing.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 5:28pm
If you do go through with this--and I think the considerations brought up by the other posters regarding the wisdom of that are worthwhile--I would say that the most important thing is to do what you can to take it slowly. My first time, I was scared to death that the girl I was with was going to disappear in a puff of smoke (or, more literally, simply change her mind about the whole thing) before I came. So, looking back, things are a little blurry; it could have made for a much better memory . . .



Edited 4/13/2006 4:08 am ET by argy_bargy
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Wed, 04-12-2006 - 8:22pm

Some of the other posters have made some very valid points. I have to agree with them. Is this something that your girlfriend knows he wants? Or something she wants for him? He might not be ready - after all, he is only 18. I think that it's something you or your girlfriend need to talk to him about first, to see if he wants to do this. I think that just springing it on him might be a bad idea. Just because he likes you doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to lose his virginity to you.

If it's something he wants, then go for it! If all goes well it will give him a boost of confidence. Take your time with it - don't just make it good for him, show him how to make it good for you, that might help his confidence, and make him more comfortable. If he starts to seem too nervous, back off a little for a while. Make it fun, rather than serious. Take control of the situation and put the condom on him so he doesn't end up fumbling around with it and make himself more nervous. Take the top so he can relax a bit more. Slide him into you and then sit there for a few seconds so he can settle a bit. Then take things slowly (again). Be aware he might not last long, and if he doesn't, reassure him that it's ok.

Good luck

Jan

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 8:44am
Thanks everybody for the advice. I don't plan to pressure him and if he's not ready I'll respect that. I'm not much older than he is. I'll be 19 in June. My gf teases him about his shyness and the times I've been around them I kind of came to his rescue. The first time I met him was late last summer. We were all at the beach and he was paying a lot of attention to me and I liked him and I tried to be nice to him. The girls all had bikinis on and several times I couldn't help but notice that he got hard when he was around me. Anyway, my two girlfriends and a couple of guys will be here tomorrow night for the party and the plan is for them to leave so that we can do the deed. He may not want to have sex with a pregnant girl and if he doesn't thats fine. I'm ready for it though. We have condoms and if he wants me I'll try to make it good for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 10:58am

You're saying the others will leave so you two can be alone. Don't set this up so he's backed into a corner from peer pressure into doing this. Not any more reasonable for a guy than a girl on this one.

If he decides to go through with it, realize that (a) he's going to be incredibly nervous and (b) very likely incredibly short-fused. You'll have to be patient and expect that he's probably going to pop (at least once) before you take him. You may want to have him get you off first before you even get him ready because he probably won't last long in you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 1:27pm
I'm not going to make him feel like he has to be alone with me if he doesn't want to. If he wants to be alone with me I want it to be something he'll remember. If he doesn't feel comfortable, I'll let him leave or whatever he wants. I'm kind of shy too so I guess that's something we have in common. I got involved with a man in his 30s and got pregnant but I'm not really a slut and I think I know what to do. I want this boy to want me and if he doesn't I'm ok with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2000
Thu, 04-13-2006 - 1:38pm
Good luck with it then, but I'll ask the loaded question: if (a) he's a virgin, (b) you're already pregnant and (c) you're both presumably STD-free, is there that much need for condoms? Would it be that much more exciting for the two of you, especially him, going 'bareback'?

Pages