Have you ever fell hard for a cyber pal.
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Have you ever fell hard for a cyber pal.
| Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:08pm |
I have recently started having a cyber relationship with someone. Its fun and highly erotic but latley have started having strong feelings toward her. We are very far apart so acting out any of our fantisys would be next to impossible. How do you handle the emotions that come along with it.

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Oh my HD!
I wish someone would tell me that! LOL Dealing with the emotions is the hardest part for me. I am one of those people that would rather love and live life to the fullest knowing that it's hard to deal with the emotions than to never let myself love another person. I derive so much joy and pleasure from my cyber lover that it far surpasses the ache, the long to touch him, kiss him, hug him, finally make eye contact with him.
There is also a HUGE distance between us. I know that he never travels down here for business... I never travel there, so there is no way that we could ever get together IRL. When I find myself aching too much for him(which has happened) I tell myself that even if our paths ever crossed that the likelihood of us doing anything is small. It helps keep things in perspective.
I have fallen hard. I have also been devastated by a cyber pal just disappearing after sending a rather disturbing e-mail. I've cried, and I've vented, and I've moved on. It's no different than the rollercoaster of emotions we experience in real life.
I guess I think of it as a necessary evil that we must confront when we open ourselves up to others. Sometimes we get lucky and find a special someone that truly enhances our life and provides us with something we need or desire.
Sometimes I need to back off a little and give myself a little space and time away from my cyber friends. However, I have never totally disappeared on someone without explanation, and I hope that I never do.
That's the number one reason why I don't cyber and why I consider cybering to be cheating (unless you have an open relationship).
I'm in a quote-y mood and Morse your post reminded me of one I read on a friends page.
"Love is giving someone the ability to hurt you...but trusting them not to."
I am a strong believer in this statement.
Just my 2cents for the day.
"Seduce my mind and you can have my body.
I agree with Jazz. Also, I think it's a little dishonest if your partner doesn't know about this other person. However if you are in an open-relationship or your partner doesn't mind, then that's a different story. IMHO cybering with another person via internet and having sex with them in person is one in the same. Just as you have to be mentally stimulated to have sex with someone in the real, you have to do the same (if not more) when having a sex romp online. I think you should be careful, particularly if you're married, 99% of the time these emotional/sexual extramarital relationships that one develops don't work, and there are often other sides of the story you may not be hearing (about this person's family or situation). I think in order to really "fall hard" for someone you have to know them very well, feel that deep connection and that you must not have any secrets from each other.
Maybe what you're feeling right now is infatuation with the "newness" of the relationship, it's probably a spark that you haven't felt in a long time since the beginning of your marriage. If your wife and family mean the world to you, which I'm sure they do, then you don't want to hurt any of these people by betraying their trust, particularly with someone you've never even met. Also remember, if this is something that is happening, and your wife doesn't know, she should definitely be informed and have the right to know what's going on in her marriage. You never know what she could do on her end to make things better and fill this void that you apparently have if you don't tell her of your feelings. Couples shouldn't have secrets like this, because they can eventually break a relationship down as your attraction for the other person grows more and more and the bond with your real life SO begins to suffer because of your new feelings.
This is something you should think long and hard about, weigh the pros and cons, and see if it's even worth everything that you could lose or the risk that you're taking concerning the emotional relationship you have with your wife. Remember, if she doesn't know, wouldn't approve of and would be hurt by this behavior, then it's cheating. I don't know the status of your relationship, but if you've been married for years, it's no point in throwing away all your years of hardwork and emotional investment (not to mention love) with your SO over an internet fling. If you want the thrill of cybering, you should try doing this with your wife, you guys can make up scenarios and play the roles of whoever you want--via different computer terminals. Maybe this could fill your longing for adventure in your relationship. Anyway, goodluck to you...and if you are in an open-relationship and not telling your wife what's happening, then you still should. Remember she should always be given the respect of knowing what's happening in her marriage, and the same respect should be given to you as well from her end.
Chakra
I a really appreciate all the response's both pro and con. You have hit the nail right on the head on how I'm feeling. No my DW doesn't know, and I don't think she would understand. I have been longing for a more exciting sex life as most of you already know so and I was hoping that this help fill the need for it without the risk of "close encounters" of the cheating kind. I have to me careful with all this and I'm fully aware of the pitfalls that come with it. I'm just trying to sort through this *change of life* that has recently taken over my every thought in my world.
Again thanks gang.
Please fill free to educate me even more if you wish.. Hdog..
HD, if these emotions that you are having are in any way affecting how you feel about your wife or creating problems in your marriage, then you might want to backoff and rethink the situation. You know that saying...."the grass isn't always greener..."
You'll figure it out, and make the decision that's best for you. I wish you luck buddy!
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