Have you ever fell hard for a cyber pal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Have you ever fell hard for a cyber pal.
86
Thu, 08-17-2006 - 8:08pm
I have recently started having a cyber relationship with someone. Its fun and highly erotic but latley have started having strong feelings toward her. We are very far apart so acting out any of our fantisys would be next to impossible. How do you handle the emotions that come along with it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 10:51am

WOW!!!

I knew you had this thought out more than most of us, I knew that you are intlligent and more capable than many of us at getting your thoughts into a well written paragraph, but gee that was powerful.

I think I've gone hard of hearing from the thunderous applause I'm giving you over here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 10:58am
This is what makes you so well liked Talbed!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:05am

I know a man whose wife has other lovers. He has been a smiling gent the entire time she's been unfaithful. One wonders if he secretly suspects and is aroused by the thought of his wife being a sexpot, or is she a better wife in turn and putting that smile onto his face.

Isn't what matters the following; they are happier individuals, they function in the world more productively, their happiness exudes into all areas of their life and in particular enriches the lives of their children.

I can't speak for him, I haven't walked in his shoes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:12am

this whole thread make me think of Moslov's pyramid of needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:20am
Good job Deja. I was thinking of Maslov myself. Enjoyed reading the site.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:31am

I can't make the choice for anyone else.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:33am

Thanks Morse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:42am

For the most part I agree with you Jazz. The dishonesty does insert a wedge inside the person being dishonest...builds walls. That cannot be denied.

I will say that for men, this is a much harder decison (to stay or go) than it is for women in our country. Unless in extreme cases, the man pays in all the wrong ways. He loses his assets and a good portion of his future earnings, making him a lot less attractive for attempt #2. He enters the market as a marked man. But mostly (to me at least) he does not wake up in the morning to his wonderful children and does not kiss them goodnight. The man loses that special bond forever with his children since shared custody is not very common (and in my mind destructive to children). I cannot live with every other weekend...that would kill me. I do notice that 9 times out of 10 it is a woman that makes that statement. I realize there are a few cases where the woman leaves and loses her children, but that is the exception. Divorce is still extremely punitive to men in our society regardless of circumstance. This is a huge factor to consider when looking at other ways to find some semblance of happiness in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2004
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:54am

So the question is then is one willing to stay unhappy in marriage until the kids are out of the house?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 12:01pm
and don't get me wrong...if that unhappy marriage is in the least visible to the children, it is better that they do not see that.
this is a very complex and delicate issue that is different with every single case, so blanket statements one way or the other will never work. this is a very personal matter for each person to consider. I can only make statements from personal experience or based on insight into other situations, but any person that needs to make a decision is best served by having a number of options in front of them and create that recipe that creates the best situation for everyone concerned.

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