He turned out to be very related to me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
He turned out to be very related to me!
13
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:15pm

Not so long ago, I went to visit my mom in a town I haven't been to since I was about 10! I am 27 now. While visiting my mom... she had some friends over with 2 girls my age. They were also in their late 20's. They asked me to go hang out with them that night at a local dance bar. I thought that would be fun... so I went. While there... this guy kept staring at me... he was super hunky... Tall/dark and very hot! He looked like a tall version of tom cruz in top gun. He finally came over to me and struck up a conversation. He looked a little familiar... but he couldn't be, I haven't been here in about 17 years! He said his name was ****, and it just didn't click! We ended up getting plastered and danced the night away. Well me and my new friends and **** all went out to eat afterwards. They asked if I wanted to stay the night with them... due to I was too drunk to drive back to my mom's... I said sure~! I called mom... all was fine.
Well turns out... I didn't make it to their house... I made it to ****'s house!
Yes... we had mind blowing sex... which I can't believe I remember! He was a very romantic guy... and we were perfect together!
The next day... when I got up... I heard him singing in the in the other room...I am also a singer... and we harminized so great together... very natural! Yes...I mean... I started singing too... and we sounded great together.
He had made me some eggs and bacon and had his table all nice for me.... and had coffee made! He gave me a huge hug and was so lovable. He asked me to spend the day with him! I told him I had to go see my mom, then get back to my own town. He said he really wanted to see me again... I agreed. So I left it at that. He called me three times that day and we talked for hours on end! I thought I had finally found someone who was perfect in every way for me.
I told mom about this guy... but I don't think I ever told her his name.
The very next weekend... **** drove the 150 miles to come to my home and spent the weekend with me. He was perfect... and again and again... we made the best love possible!
We saw each other 2 more weekends... when we were out to dinner one night... and I started laughing. It had just dawned on me that we didn't know each others last names!
He asked what was so funny... so I told him! He stared laughing as well... and I said... "HI, my name is L*** W*****, nice to meet you! Suddenly... he stopped laughing... and about spit out his drink! He said OMG... I can't believe this is happening... with you of all people!!!
I was taken aback... I just said... what's the problem?
He then said... I am S*** M***... and your are Aunt S*****'s daughter! I about fail out of my chair! And strangly enough... suddenly felt total heart break!
He then said... I haven't seen you since you were about 10! He was in high school the last time I saw him! He was a total dork back then... looked completely different now!
He said... I can't believe I finally met the woman of my dreams and she turns out to be my first cousin! OMG...
I completely stopped talking to him after he left that night.... and that was almost 9 months ago.
He called today! The first words out of his mouth was... "I miss you, and I have to see you!" He was in town and wanted to see me! OMG... those feeling of excitment that I first felt when I met him came rushing back again! But he is my cousin. I can't... right! He said he can't stop thinking about me... I must admit... I have had the same problem! We were perfect together! He said if he could get away with it... he would move here to see me every day and keep this going... away from our families! What the hell are we doing! This is crazy!
What the hell do I do now! I know it is sooooo wrong! But he gives me those butterflies I have wanted for so long! And I apparently do the same for him!
Now I know why we sounded so good in harmony while singing... our mom's are sister... who are both singers as well!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:39pm

I don't think either parents would approve and it would make it an hard relationship to move foreward with.

I did have a close call with a first cousin. I was out at a country bar one night and this hot red haired girl came onto me. We started dancing and kissing she follow me home(I was 19 and still lived at home). We started making out heavy in the living room then I went to get some drinks from behind the bar and she noticed the pictures and saw her grandparents. We were able to laugh about it because things didn't get to far and we were "kissing" cousing when we were little.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:42pm

So he's your first cousin?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 4:55pm
Yeah...kinda! The thing is... if our families found out... it would tear them apart, and no one would speak to either of us again! He is close to the family... I am not!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 5:53pm
I hear what you are saying! Believe it or not... we are both Christians... despite the way we went about things!!!! Hey, even Christians mess up and have sex on a first date! We had no clue it would turn out to be so much worse! I don't know what to do with the current day situation. He has called me 3 times now to try and see me tonight. I told him I wouldn't be having any type of sexual contact with him ever again! He said have we not have been cousins... he could have seen himself asking me a bigger question in another month or so... that is how well we fit! I am 27, and I have never been married before.... I would have said yes. I don't take that stuff lightly! It almost makes me feel White Trash... but I am not at all... neither is he. But our current actions sure make us look it.
I told him I would meet him at a resturant... but nothing more than that. I am not sure if we weren't in the public that we could behave!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 6:06pm

Christians are supposed to make mistakes!! That's what makes us humans we just try hard to live a life that's right.

But that does remind me of a saying written in a book in high school

"Sex is Sin, Sin is Forgiven, So Sex is in!"

It's obvious that if you two had known before you would not have had sex. Now that you know it should still hold (even though it was great). It takes more than sex to make a great marriage and you can still have all the other stuff as great friends. If he can't handle that then he was never the "right" one anyway IMHO.

I think your doing the right thing and your are listening to reason. If he doesn't understand that then you will have to question his motives.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2005
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 7:33pm

Hey--that's how our family got started!


;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 8:15pm

The reason sex between close biological relatives became a taboo is that there are genetic ramifications for offspring conceived in such a match. Your 27 and he's a bit older. You didn't mention anything about either of you having children or wanting children, but on average children are the result of such love matches.

If you or him want children some day, then now is the time to walk away from this relationship.

I wish you the best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 9:34pm

Yes and no... there is an increased risk of genetic problems if both parents are the carriers for certain genetic issues to begin with. If a genetic disorder runs in the family, consanguinity greatly increases the odds that the children will have the disorder. But without any genetic disorders already in the family, there is no increased risk for genetic disorders when first cousins have children together. :-D

(This message brought to you by a geek who needs to find other ways to fill her time.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:12pm

There are many genetic conditions that are not inherited but rather created by weaknesses in the chromosomal material. Cases such as an end of a chromosome breaking off and genetic material that is needed being lost forever. This type of problem would not be seen in the first generation, but rather in the next generation or later.

Another case is when a piece of DNA essential buckles and is misread during the duplication process and a mutation occurs. Many of these are harmless, but there are many problems that can arise. Consanguinity (BTW, I loved you use of this word) increases the likelihood of this type of genetic mutation in the first generation.

Red-neck jokes did not come from thin air. The fact that mating similar genetic material seems to cause genetic weakness is the basis of stereotyping.

I would like nothing more than to be a romantic and tell her to follow her heart, hold onto him forever, and hope your families come around. But incest is a taboo in our society that I find to be based scientific thought (as compared to those made to intimidate, discipline or rule).

Nothing wrong with being a geek, nor with spending your time here. At least, I hope there isn't.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Wed, 04-05-2006 - 10:20pm

It would be okay if you two didn't live in the US!!!

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