He won't tell me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
He won't tell me!
15
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 6:55pm
Hello everyone. I'm very very frustrated with my BF. Last night, we were having some pillow talk and I asked him about his fantasies. He got kinda shy and said, 'You first' so I told him a few of mine. Then I said, "Your turn to share" and he flatly refused. He said he does have a couple of fantasies but that he doesn't want to share them with me. I ran through the gamut of questions: Do you think I'll judge you? Are you embarrassed? Is it something illegal/immoral/ disgusting? And he said no, it's just something he wants to keep to himself. I'm very irritated right now. Argghhhh . . . .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 7:30pm

I've been with my husband for 12 years now and after about 11 years of asking him I finally got out of him that there was a scene in his favourite book that he liked. He didn't even tell me the scene! I had to go hunting it down! AND it wasn't even that hot! LOL. I spill new ones to him all the time but he never acts on them, or even reacts to them, just kind of changes the subject.


How long have you guys been together? Is he sort of closed lip about most things in life? You could try saying "so and so was telling me her boyfriend...", or making a game out of it, or having him write it down or better yet write you a short story about his fantasy. But sometimes I think after trying and trying, maybe you have to let it go. If they don't want to share then they probably never will.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:16pm

Welcome to the board, agt12.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:25pm
LOL, I think sometimes DW wishes I wasn't quite so open about sharing mine.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:44pm

Do you ever

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Fri, 07-28-2006 - 8:49pm
Oh yeah, I SO know that look. LOL
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 12:29am

Heheh, I think whenever one of us guys gets that look we just take solice in the fact that every woman who married a man also married a pervert. :D

Know what I mean?
-k

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 1:23am
For some fantasies are very personal and very private thing. It maybe that he will never share them with you and you will have decide how you feel about that. Also it could be that some of the fantasies are such that he is uncomfortable sharing them with you because he does not know how you will react to them. This may especially be the case if you have said on previous occassions that there are certain things you do not like or won't try. So, he maybe be not willing to share them with you bacause of that.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 8:27am
Steve, what in the world is that guy holding in your siggy??


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 9:43am
Why it's an electric jellyfish sucker, of course. Isn't it obvious? ;-)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2006
Sat, 07-29-2006 - 10:44am

Welcome to the board Agt! After almost 12 years of marriage, my DH has never told me his fantasies, and I doubt he ever will. My DH is not one to talk very much and bringing up something such as this, well, that just throws him for a loop! He enjoys hearing about mine, but I think he just gets shy about telling me about his, if he has any.


 

 

 

 

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