Help! I need some guys' opinions!
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Help! I need some guys' opinions!
| Wed, 11-15-2006 - 6:48pm |
Hello, new here. I'm Cherie, I'm 19, and in my 1st yr at Ohio State. I usually only lurk but I need some opinions from the opposite sex and I really don't have any guy friends except my bf, and I don't feel comfortable talking with him about this, so here goes. The problem is my brother. I'm wondering whether he's normal or not. I'm thinking he's pretty perverted but maybe he's normal, how would I know? I'm a girl. So I'd like the guys here to tell me what they think, and whether or not any guy here is like him. I first noticed a problem with him soon after I moved in with him. I, of course, wanted to move out for college but couldn't afford much, but my brother, who's 23 and a grad student, needed a roommate and his place was cheap. We both decided that we'd probably get along, so we become roommates. Right after I moved in, however, I noticed him "checking me out", not just every now and then, but like every day! And I'm not talking quick glances but HARDCORE staring at my legs, breasts, or even my butt! At first, I didn't think much of it, in fact I have to admit a part of me found it kind of flattering. But another part of me felt very uncomfortable about it. I mean, even though I'm pretty and have an awesome body, and even though all of the guys I know want to go out with me, I still expected my brother to be different. After all, I AM his sister! I would think he'd be able to control himself a little better than that around me, although I can understand how it could be difficult for him with how I look and dress. I mean, if I wasn't his sister it would be perfectly normal for him to stare and lust, as I'm usually wearing something sexy. I wear SUPER SHORT skirts (with thongs underneath) to school everyday and I'm always walking around our apt in my bikini as our complex has a hot tub, so I can see to some extent why he might OCCASIONALLY steal a quick glance. But he doesn't just glance, I catch him staring at me just like any other boy would, every night. Can't guys control their urges even a little bit, like when it's their own sisters? Well, at any rate, up until a few weeks ago I was willing to just brush it off, with one part of me thinking the situation was weird and abnormal, and another part of me almost enjoying the attention and even sometimes teasing him a little bit on purpose. But a few weeks ago the situation became even more weird. That's when he starting taking pics of me. I don't mean behind my back, it was actually my idea. See, my bf lives far away, so we have a long-distance relationship, and I wanted to send him a bunch of sexy pics of myself. Of course, I was too embarrassed to ask just some guy I knew to take them, so I ended up asking my brother, even though I wasn't sure it would be a good idea with the way he was always looking at me. Of course, I wasn't doing any nudes, just sexy stuff. I was sort of afraid to do it, but another part of me was excited about doing a sexy photo shoot, like I was a real model. At any rate, he reluctantly agreed to do it but, as I feared, it's not working out too well. He can't handle it at all! It's extremely funny and embarrassing at the same time. The first thing that happens is I'll model a new outfit, just to get his opinion. I'll ask him what he thinks and his reaction is hilarious. He'll take one look at me in my bikini or lingerie and EVERY TIME his eyes about pop out of his head when he first sees me. It's funny because I can tell that he's really excited but he'll try to hide it by saying something casual like 'it looks OK'. Then we start taking pics and as my posing gets more sexier the same things happen every time. For starters, as soon as we start, I'll notice he'll get an enormous boner! It's very embarrassing for both of us because we both know he shouldn't have one from looking at his own sister, but it's also incredibly funny to watch him try to hide it and play it off. At first, I just tried not to laugh and pretended not to notice, but eventually I couldn't contain myself and starting cracking up. He knew why I was laughing and you should have seen how red his face got! That ended that photo shoot. But afterwards I told him I understood and apologized for laughing at him, and I talked him into doing more shoots. However, even though I promised him I wouldn't laugh at him anymore, he couldn't control himself and the problem continued, and every time I ended up giggling. There was just something soooo funny about his look of embarrassment when I pointed out his boner. His face would get sooo red and he looked like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar! Also, the way he acts during the shoots is kind of scary even though it's also flattering. Quite often, like when I'm in a really sexy pose or if we're doing a nightwear shoot (lingerie, undies) I'll notice he can hardly control himself! It's funny, but also scary and sometimes I feel sorry for him. I mean, it's obvious that he's so horny he's about to burst! This, of course, is an awesome power trip for me, but since it's my brother, it's also kind of scary. I'll be doing a real sexy pose and I'll notice him start to shake, he'll sometimes almost drop the camera! Other times he actually starts breathing heavy and erratically and has to catch his breath! I ask him if he's OK and he'll just nod yes, take a deep breath, and continue. But the worst is when we do shoots where he has to help me get ready, like one with chocolate syrup or whip cream or body paint or something like that. He'll get so horny putting the stuff on me that I'll see his hands trembling, and I mean really shaking bad, like an old person! And, of course, I'll look and he'll have his usual boner. That kind of disturbs me. I mean, even though I'm his sister, it may be normal for him to get a little aroused, especially considering the type of pics we're doing and how I look, after all, his BODY doesn't know I'm his sister. But to not be able to control yourself to the point where you're shaking? I don't care what I'm wearing, I would think he could control himself a little better than that around his own sister. At any rate, I am now having an internal debate. Sometimes I love the power I have over him, and I like the ego trip from seeing him totally unable to control himself around me and going almost CRAAAZZZYYY with desire at our photo shoots. But other times, I get really disgusted by his inability to control his primal urges around me. I mean, come on, how disrespectful! I'm his sister for God's sakes! Don't guys have something in their brains that say: "hey, this is my sister, this isn't a piece of meat." Can't most guys control themselves any better than that? I mean, I'm not trying to brag or anything, but again, considering how I look, I actually EXPECTED him to look a LITTLE, because I'm pretty much drop dead gorgeous with a body to die for. Again, not trying to brag, but it's true, I see what's in the mirror and I know how boys act around me, so I can understand him struggling, at least to SOME extent,with his natural instincts. But shouldn't he have learned to control himself by now, shouldn't he be a little more respectful of me as his sister, even when we're doing some sexy pics for my bf? Or is his behavior normal? I didn't think guys drooled over their sisters like that. Have any of you guys ever had feelings like that for your own sister? If so, do you think my brother is normal or a pervert? If not, what should I do? Move out ASAP? Tell someone? I'm not sure what to do, but I know that instead of laughing at him, now I've been getting more angry at him. At our last few shoots I've gotten disgusted with him and I've even been calling him a pervert and telling him there's something wrong with him. In fact, at our last shoot I actually slapped him! He had to help paint me and he couldn't even do it! He was trembling so bad he couldn't even do the designs right! He just told me he "couldn't handle this". And don't think I was naked, I was covered where I needed to be. I slapped him and called him a perv! I sort of feel bad about it now, but shouldn't he be able to control himself any better than THAT? Am I wrong here guys, or is my brother sick somehow? Isn't his behavior almost a form of incest?

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Agreeing with everyone here, this should be brought to a halt as fast as possible. actually immediately if you can. Like someone said, you've now come into knowledge of the immense power a woman with a beautiful body can wield. Enjoy it if you must but not on your brother. You may come out of this unscathed, but you may scar him for life,plus this may ruin your relationship with him permanently whether he does anything abt his lust or it. Your brother physically desires you and this has been ingrained into all of us from childhood that this is wrong, so inside he is fighting not only a great amount of lust he can't get satisfied, but he is also dealing with the guilt of desiring his own sis. normally for a guy that age, if you are horny and can't get with the woman you desire, one option you have is to go masterbate more than likely to the thought of havingsex with her. now can you stand the thought of you brother in his bedroom getting off to the thought of sleeping with you?? He may be doing this already and the guilt is probably killing him, but if he is not then he has almost no real release for all this pressure you are putting on him. And even after you move out and things go back to 'normal' he will have to live with this the rest of his life. so please, if you really care for him, do not put any more stress on him that way. cover up as if you live around you grandparents or something. I agree you should not have this worry around your brother but we deal with the facts that life throws us, and this is yours. your brother can use some counseling but even just a simple honest talk between the two of you will help. but please stop. worst case scenario, he breaks and rapes you. best case scenario at this point, you stop, but he still has a whole load of issues to work through and a great deal of guilt to deal with.
I can speak on this b'se i once had strange prob too. Before anyone asks, NO i was NOT attracted to my sister. i'd proably pluck my eyes out and get castrated if that ever happened, but i once had my cousin's daugther attracted to me. now this was a kid i had seen grow up, b'se i am abt 7yrs older than her but when she hit her teens and started learning abt herself, she started flirting with me. At first i just ignored it, taking it as just play but when i noticed ny body starting to react to her, i was appalled and disgusted with myself. yeah she was doing funny stuff like reaching into my pockets and 'accidently' rubbing me, or always wanting to sit in my lap, or lay on the bed with me, but i knew it was wrong, and the fact that i was aroused hounded me, that i eventually started avoiding her altogether. years have gone by and she's grown up,gotten married but i still feel the guilt from those days and still avoid her to this day b'se seeing her reminds me of my failure. So if something that small can bother a person for this many years, imagine what you actions could be doing to your brother. Be a loving sister and stop. I really hope and pray you do
Alright, I will throw my two cents in here....I agree COMPLETELY with "greenclover" here....and stand up and say that by 99.9% of the womens standards on here I am a perv too.
Not that this is an excuse, but I am Early Onset Bi-Polar which very commonly has a VERY high sex drive from a very early age (in my case around 3 to 4 yrs old) and I have to say that if one of my sisters had a "drop dead gorgeous body" I would have been incapable of NOT getting an erection AND been trembling badly taking photos and doing EVERYTHING else "cherie" described here. As "greenclover" stated, men are visual.
I also have to add that there is for EVERY man a certain type of womans body build/shape/whatever that just "does" it for a man....it is different for every man, but if you, "cherie", happen to have that "certain" body that keys your brother, the reaction to that is very basic and very primal. Yes your brother can control how he ACTS to that reaction, but he CANNOT control that reaction (ie. how far he takes it further than just his bodies natural responses)....it is a reaction so basic and primal it is almost like a punch in the stomach....as you stated "cherie", ones breathing gets erratic, ones eyes pop out of the head and all the mind can say is "OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT GORGEOUS BODY"....at that point I would say it probably would not matter WHAT relation that woman is to the man. JMHO. I know I will probably get beat up nine ways to breakfast over that statement, but I will stand by it as it has happened to me....not with a family member, but with some women I see....including my now DW when I first saw her in high school.
I myself had a brief bout of desire for one of my sisters, but I chalk that up to being EXTREMELY horny (see above about EOBP) and masturbation becoming SOOOOOO boring after dealing with a sex drive from the age of 4....nothing happened as I didn't act on it and I found other outlets and she was just not a sexy type girl, but I guess I am just trying to stand up in defense of "cherie's" brother here and echo again what "greenclover" said about "cherie" feeding into this whole issue here.
There's my two cents, let the sniping begin, body armor has been donned, bunker dug, fire when ready.
tk
If she was really so bothered by her brother's attraction towards her she would never have staged events to seduce him. And how can she put whole blame on him when she herselves know, she is deliberately tempting him. this is almost like a incest pornstory.
This requires serious thinking. We live 2 miles north of OSU and my daughter is a sophmore at Ohio State. She will be moving out soon to live on her own across the street from OSU. There are plenty of reasonably priced places to live if you need to move.
I hope you make your decision soon.
(By the way, I didn't read all 30 replies so I just replied to the first post)
Jim
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