Help w/ toy for DH
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Help w/ toy for DH
| Sat, 08-26-2006 - 4:22am |
Ok maybe not so much a toy, but as of late we have issues with him not being able to get it back up a second time for quite awhile. Ok a little more history here. Dh and I have been together 15 years, sexually active for 14 of those. After I had our son 8 yrs ago, I never got rid of the weight. W/in the past 5 months, I have lost 30 pounds. Before I lost the weight, DH could go for longer, and go again sooner. Since I have lost the weight, he gets off faster, harder and much sooner than before and cannot get it back up like he used to (he is 34, I am 33). I think it has alot to do with me being more sexually adventurous due to my newfound self esteem and confidence inbetween the sheets; I can get into more positions and be a much more active participant in some of those positions and I think, well I know this is a HUGE turn on for him since we almost ended our marriage about 2 years ago for some other reasons, but sex was one of the problems. I have been doing some internet research about penis rings (won't let me use the real name for them). They don't really say what they are for other than extra hardness. Do they make an erection last longer? Do the desensitize or oversenitize the penis? What is the best kind? I see they have rubber, vinyl, latex, metal, and leather. For a beginner...which way do you go? I saw one called a "triple threat", quite an interesting contraption. Do any men out there have one, have you used it? Was it difficult/painful? Did in enhance or downplay the sexual act for you? I am really interested in getting him to keep up with me, since 5 short months ago he could run circles around me in the sack. Thanks in advance.

They are intended to make an erection harder, but you need to to be able to get a decent erection for them to work, so I don't think that it would help the second time around if he isn't getting it up at all. Maybe you should concentrate on slowing down the first orgasm or on foreplay for the second. As we guys get older, it gets more difficult to go more than one round.
romanic
Gal,
If it has happened real suddenly like that, do you think it's possible there is something physical going on?
Maybe you should try talking with your husband about this and ask is there any particular reason that he's having trouble getting hard again, or like LM recommended, ask him has he noticed something going on with his health. It's always been my understanding that a cockring is used to make an erection stiffer and in some cases to help the man last longer. We don't need it to help keep my guy's erection, but I do like the aesthetic quality of the rings (especially the silver ones), and the vibrating rings provide great pleasure for a woman during penetration. Sometimes my husband will go for a while inbetween sex sessions (20 min or longer) before he gets another erection, this especially happens when we've been having sex for hours and as a result his penis is a little sore. There are times though where he can get it up within 5 minutes and go for 6 or more rounds; to me I think it has to do with how excited he was and how much energy was used during each time we did it. The times afterwards that it takes him longer to get hard are also when during the act before he's been extremely aroused and I guess wore himself out. Maybe this could be the issue with your guy? I don't know how long you have sex, but if he's really excited combined with doing it for hours on end, then that could explain it his longer recuperation time.
I would still talk with him though and maybe push a visit to the doc. If you want recommendations on toys, try checking out Freddy and Eddy's website (we can't put clickable links, but you'll find it if you type that phrase). Their website is aimed at couples and they have thousands of personally reviewed sex toys complete with ratings and all. Maybe you can find something that would make things more exciting for you both. One other thing, have you tried stripteasing, genital stimulation, or just doing things on your end to make him aroused for the second go-around? Sometimes this helps, as men are very visual. When I've done this, my husband definitely has a faster recovery time, lol. Good luck with everything.
Chakra
I agree - try some thing on your part and maybe just maybe in his mind you losing the weight makes you more sexy and maybe it bothers his confidence - I said maybe.
You might just have to blow on things!
It is now a good hour before a second erection is achieved :( Not that we don't find other ways to fool around in that hour, LOL but a girl really can only take *so* much oral sex.