HOT TOPIC

Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
HOT TOPIC
13
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 8:30am

Hot Topic: Porn & Strip Clubs: What's Cheating? When Does Naughty Fun Cross the Infidelity Line?




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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:09am
I was an active participant in the thread "Porn and Strip Clubs Cheating?" and it got pretty ugly, warnings were sent and the thread was eventually closed, I have also read most of the post on that board and find it to be fairly close minded people. I am all for open discussion and strong opinions but debate has two sides. I also noticed that after that thread was closed most activity on the board ground to a halt.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:16am
I read that thread and found it to be too much in the way of personal attacks. One participant in particular was trying to convert people so to speak.
Avatar for cl_littlemascara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:30am
That's too bad people can't have an adult conversation about it without getting nasty.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:33am
The lack of those type of attacks is one reason I love this board. Beleive me I know from my experiences on another board which shall remain nameless.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 10:58am
So what's the question here Lil'M? Let's see if we can do a 'civilized' version here...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 12:01pm

The irony is, and it came out right before the thread was closed, the main pot stirrer admitted that she was a 30 year old non-married virgin. I 100% respect someones decision to wait until marriage to have sex, that is there choice, but if you have not had sex or been married and learning a partners likes dislikes and boundaries it carries a little less weight with those of us that have been married, or in a committed adult relationship for a while, and seem to do o.k. with it while thinking a little bit differently then yourself.

But that is just me.

I can tell you we do not have an open relationship, and honestly I am possessive of my DW in that way. I have no problem with her doing what she wants but only I get to be intimate with her and she feels the same way about me, but I also have no problem with someone else having an open relationship, we make choices, some good some bad and we live with them, and making this a happy life is challenging enough without other people bringing you down. So I will just keep playing with my friends at SOMS and Taboos.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 12:04pm
I will admit I got a little personal after being slammed about disrespecting my DW, and I did get a smack on the hand by Angela, as I deserved, but it just seemed like no matter how you tried to put things you were being told you were wrong, too much negativity for me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2006
Thu, 08-03-2006 - 11:44pm

Man that did get pretty nasty. I just read them. I didnt dare jump in one that one!!!

Its sad that people like that one can take ther fews to such extreams. Its part of the reason that I dont go to church anymore. Its not that I dont belive because I do! Its just the backbiting and general petty bickering that go on turns me off. I have been to so many types of churches and they all generaly that way if you really start digging and getting close to some of the people in that church. Please dont take me wroung on this, Im sure that there are great churches out there I just havent found one. Just look at the debate that is going on around us. We are fighting a war right this very minite in Irag because of people that take there religion to the extreams. Many a good man and women have died in this battle and its only going to get wourse before it gets better.

God speed and good health to our Men and Women who serve our country.. Semperfi..HD

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 4:40am

I haven't joined the topic, but I did read many of the responses. Lots of people on the defensive. I'm a person who respects others opinions, even if they don't necessarily agree with mine. My only issue with discussions like the stripping and infidelity one are that if there is a user who says that they believe watching strippers or looking at porn is IMmoral, they automatically get attacked, which in my opinion isn't fair. The first thing people say to them is "you're being judgmental" or things of that nature, when I don't think that's the case at all. I mean really, what's to stop those people from getting mad at those who DO like stripping. I just think some people get oversensitive about issues and automatically feel that they are being personally attacked just because someone expresses an opinion outside their own. One of the things you learn once you enter adulthood is that sometimes you have to agree to disagree and just learn to respect another person's opinion without always assuming that they're calling judgment on you. Besides, one man can't judge another anyway.

There's really not even a reason to reply with a flame to a poster who's thoughts differ from yours unless they actually say something personally aimed at you and your lifestyle--even then it should be kept civil. A person can't argue for long by themselves. Those of us who participate in "taboos" shouldn't be very thin-skinned anyhow, as most of the things we do are probably looked at as odd to some people--just as some of us probably think that those who don't explore more in their sex lives appear close-minded or too sheltered at times. We shouldn't have to defend our lifestyles, but at times some things will be called into question. I guess I'm a little more used to it given that I grew up in the deep south and know how "old-fashioned" some individuals can be. These type of people don't bother me in the least though. I actually like that quality. There has to be a check and balance to everything we do in life. It helps keep society-at-large more well-rounded. And if we all thought the same, there'd be no variety. That's just my opinion, though, not trying to step on anyone's toes. That said, I love all kinds of discussions, and I enjoy hearing others thoughts and opinions.

Chakra




Edited 8/4/2006 4:50 am ET by ayurchakra
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Fri, 08-04-2006 - 9:55am
I just posted a true story followed by a question there.

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