How do I get him to talk dirty to me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2003
How do I get him to talk dirty to me?
14
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 7:37pm
Hi guys, I posted this question on the mismatched libidos board, but didn't really get any responses, they seem to be more prudish over there. Anyway, so I'm trying to figure out how to incorporate dirty talk into sex with my bf. It takes a loooooong time for me to come without hearing him talk to me, but he's kind of reserved. I've both asked him nicely and straight up told him what to say, but he never says anything more than "F*** me!" or "are you gonna cum for me?". Well, once he said "this is the way I like you to f*** me!". That was a huge turn on because it was the most he's ever said in bed. And he does moan a lot, so I know he's not completely afraid of making noise. I tell him things like "you're the best I've ever had" and various compliments about his penis, but I wanna get much dirtier than that. Other than that, his technique is impeccable! Any suggestions on how to loosen him up a little? Should I get him a little drunk first maybe? Should I wait till we're not in the middle of things and have a "talk" with him? Any help is appreciated!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 7:46pm

I think you should ask him to spank you! and you talk nasty to him first. taunt him to yell what a wild bobcat you are in the sack! ask him dirty little secrets while youre doin the deed that will MAKE him answer you in crude blunt hot sexy ways. go for it girl... tell him you want it dirty and hard and doggie style and yell that you love when he f***s you hard from behind!

that should get him goin!

i look forward to feedback!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 7:57pm

"Should I wait till we're not in the middle of things and have a "talk" with him? Any help is appreciated!"

I think this is exactly what you should do. He'll probably be more comfortable and able to prepare himself for this new activity better if you talk with him outside the bedroom and maybe give him some literature on "how" to talk dirty. Dirty Talk: Speak the Language of Lust by Lynne Stanton and How to Talk Sexy to the One You Love and Other Secrets for Improving Communication by Barbara Keesling are two that I've read and I got some very useful tips. Trust me, I used to be very shy about talking to my husband dirty. It just takes time, but once he gets comfortable I'm sure you will both be happy with the results. It could also help if you have him make a list of what he likes about you sexually (things you do to and for him while you're in the act). I find that sometimes it's hard to talk dirty if you don't know what you want to talk dirty about. He can make the list alone of course (if he's more comfortable with that), but once he does that, and starts thinking about what it is you do that drives him wild, then it shouldn't be difficult for him to verbalize to you how much he is enjoying sex and feel confident doing so.

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 8:01pm

Wow earthenangel, that just might work, lol. You just get straight to the point, girl!

Chakra

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 12:01am

hahaha! you know I do miss chakra! =D hey I had to get my man to talk to me dirrrrty somehow! and IT WORKED wonders! you should hear the things he says to ME! ahh and the way he spanks meeeeee EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

hee hee!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 4:57am

Hi, zeala.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 9:29am
My DH used to be nonverbal during sex too. Like others here, I had to 'teach' him how to do it. Ask leading questions like "do you want me to suck your ...." or "do you want me to ride your ...." or "do you like how wet my 'kitty' gets for you". You know, questions that he can answer with a dirty comeback with almost the same words as you use. Hopefully, if it works, he'll get more comfortable with the dirty talk and will start initiating it himself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 12:04pm
You girls are tooo much! Love the advise and love this board you girls are great, and take thier advise the posts I read got me going, so I am sure they will work on your BF
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 1:07pm
I think you are one specail lady, I followed your link and found a truly amazing adventure, I am trying hard to get my DW to read your writting's and have went as far as copying the text and e-mailing it to her so maybe she would read it. I am still working on her but I believe she can do what you can do, and have actually had some moments where she let go and boy is she fantastic like that. Then most of the time she works hard to be lady like instead of enjoying the moment. She I know has the capabilities to be a real bad girl, but instead keeps it bottled up. I will keep reccomending your site and hope she see's the fun she could have! Keep up the great work as you are helping more than women on women I believe you probably have a whole bunch of happy husbands to, I know I hope to be one of them soon. Thanks!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2002
Thu, 08-24-2006 - 10:18pm

My partner started talking dirty to me out of the blue one night, without even asking me about it.

 


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2004
Fri, 10-06-2006 - 11:42am

It's THE greatest. My ex-bf talked so dirty in bed sometimes that it almost freaked me out, but he was such a nice and fun person that it didn't seem creepy at all. I mean just so *incredibly* graphic. He just had that way of bringing out the Goddess/Whore thing like no one I had ever met before.

I know he would have liked me to talk dirty as well, but I just can't do it. Not a word comes out. I can send the dirtiest text messages, but I just cannot talk the talk.

Now I have been having a few dates with a new guy, and he is so unable to do that. I kind of miss it.